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bangchanstudio · 4 years ago

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Never Have I Ever | Changbin (1/?)

pairing: seo changbin x fem! reader

genre: university au, awkward friends to ? something more?

tw: drinking games, p*rn, smoking, smut-ish/suggestive, dom!changbin tendencies ?

word count: 5.3k

ch.two

synopsis: your friends get together towards the end of fall semester to blow off steam before finals. and by blowing off steam that means getting blackout drunk at your place by playing stupid drinking games that everyone is too stubborn to stop when they know they should. normally, you’re the best at holding your liquor but not tonight, tonight your friends vowed to get you drunk with a game of never have I ever, collectively agreeing to go against you so you’ll finally be the drunk one doing dumb stuff. so, that’s exactly how you end up here sitting in the dark watching p*rn with your best friend’s friend.

note: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing so here

“So party, your place, 9pm?” Hyunjin asked before unlacing his arm from yours and heading towards his next class. It was chilly and the loss of body heat from Jinnie made you wrap your coat tighter around yourself. “I’ll text the group chat to remind everyone!”

“Sure sounds great,” you called before heading in the opposite direction back to your apartment. It’s not like you had a choice when it came to these sort of arrangements. After all, the only one in your friend group with an apartment to themselves was you. This semester was kicking everyone's ass so maybe a party is exactly what everyone needed. Normally, parties were the last thing on your mind, but they were always pretty fun when it was just you and your friends. No weird smells at frat houses, with strangers, strange drinks, and stranger pick up lines.

After calling your best friend Chan, you both decided to meet at the market down the street from your apartment building to get drinks and snacks for that night. It was almost December but the cold made it feel as if we were already in the dead of winter, minus the snow. Your body welcomed the overly warm building as you spotted Chan waving for you by the cafe ready to go with a trolley.

“Mocha?” He offered stretching out his arm offering you the heavenly cup, which you so gratefully took and sipped at.

“Have I told you how amazing you are today?” You asked linking your arm with Chan’s as you made your way to the liquor isle.

He giggled looking away in that cute schoolboy way he always did when you complimented him. “Well, not today, particularly.”

“Well, you’re amazing Christopher Bang.” He gave you a knowing look at the use of his full name. Chan has been your best friend since high school. You had transferred from the states and he was the first one to invite you to his lunch table with his seven extremely loud, noisy, and obnoxious friends. You didn’t say a word the whole lunch period, and you thought maybe they wouldn’t invite you to sit with them again realizing how weird and quiet you were. But they did, they invited you again the next day and the day after and everyday after that. Before you realized it you couldn’t imagine your life without them.

They made you feel loved and cared for and like you actually had a family.

“What do you say?” Chan asked holding up a bottle of tequila in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other.

“Well, we did vodka last time. Let’s do tequila!” You preferred tequila anyway, slutty though it may may be dubbed. “Let’s get the limes before we forget.”

Before long the trolley was filled with a couple of bottles of tequila, cheap booze and snacks. Mainly shit for nachos since Jinnie and Felix agreed to bring pizza. The cashier was ringing up your stuff rather slowly, the guy looked like he had just been dumped or something judging by the way he kept glancing between you and Chan with a salty look, you almost wanted to clarify that, “No, we’re not dating.”

But it was common for people to think you were. Some people even thought you were in an open relationship with a couple of your friends considering how clingy and inseparable you all were with each other. The thought still confused you but who cares what anyone else thought.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Chan called you out of your thoughts while handing his card to the cashier, “would it be okay if Changbin came over?”

Changbin. You hadn’t hung out with him since the start of summer at Seungmin’s house party. He had moved away after high school and you didn’t keep up with him the way the guys did. It had been over a year since you could say you were actually friends, not that there were any hard feelings. He just moved away and that was that. You were annoyed at the slight ache of your heart at the sound of his name. Don’t be stupid.

After a year he actually transferred to the same uni as the guys and you, but you didn’t speak more than a few words and small talk at lunch or whatever. This semester had been hard on everyone so it’s not like there was time to hang out and much less everyone at the same time, and anytime you did hang out with the guys, he was never there and vice versa. A small part of you wondered if he was avoiding you, but that was stupid. You weren’t important enough to be avoided.

Chan took note of your hesitation, he was the only one who knew how annoyed you were at the whole situation of Changbin leaving. As good as you were at holding your liquor you weren’t invincible and the only time your girl friend convinced you to go to the BTP open party first weekend of the semester he was the one you called to help you get home and along the way spilled your guts both emotionally and literally.

“It’s cool if you’re not okay with it, he doesn’t know about the kick back I was just—“

“No, it’s fine,” You said cutting Chan off and mustering up a fake smile, “Invite him. The more the merrier, right?”

Right?

You couldn’t have been more wrong.

It was getting close to midnight when Chan walked in. Your apartment was warm both from the booze and from the heater. Jinnie and Felix were cuddled together on the dark gray sofa, Minho was the only one actually eating the food everyone brought, Seungmin and Jeongin were playing video games and Jisung was sprawled on the floor with his head in your lap watching YouTube videos. Your hand stopped suddenly in his hair as you saw who walked in behind your best friend.

“Hey guys! Sorry we’re late,” Chan greeted before kicking his vans off at the entrance and making his way over, sitting on your other side as to not bother Jisung.

“Heyyy, look what the cat dragged in,” Hyunjin cooed cocking an eyebrow at Changbin before glancing at you. He pushed Felix to the side and went to fetch the tequila. “Now that everyone is here we can finally get this party started!”

You shifted nervously on your bum as Jisung sat up right giving space so Changbin could sit next to him, subconsciously you scooted so close to Chan you were almost on his lap.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, glancing sheepishly at him. “No it’s okay,” He said placing a hand on your knee. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.” “No, no, it’s okay, really!” You said, the boys were bickering amongst themselves over what drinking game we should start with, so no one was paying attention to you guys. You were grateful. “It’s not like we’re ex’s or anything.”

Chan rolled his eyes laughing, his dimples coming through. The sound made you relax, and smile.

All the while, Changbin was observing you without you even noticing. He didn’t mean to avoid you, he wasn’t even completely sure why he did that. Maybe it was the fear he felt of losing you when his parents announced they were moving away, afraid of losing what could be. Maybe it was how he saw the way you looked at Chan and figured he didn’t have a chance. Maybe it was the fact that he felt a certain way towards you that he couldn’t totally understand therefore wanted to avoid it at all costs. He still remembered the look on your face when he told you he was leaving.

Was it sadness he saw in your eyes? Even if it was, you covered it up quickly not wanting him to see. He wanted to see it, though.

“Okay listen up homosexuals!” Jinnie announced clapping his hands, “we’re going to start with something easy.” “Truth or dare!” Jisung yelled, startling you into a small jump, “Oh sorry, (Y/N).” You playfully shoved Ji’s shoulder, “Yeah truth or dare!” “No,” Hyunjin said exasperatedly, “That will come later, we’re starting with: Never Have I Ever.”

Everyone collectively groaned in protest.

It was a hard game to play because it was so easy to manipulate each other into getting drunk. There was little that was hidden between everyone, you guys were practically an open book with each other.

“Sounds fun to me!” Chan said giving a sly smirk. “Yeah same here,” Seungmin agreed a little too enthusiastically. “I’m good at this game.” Jeongin piped in, cutely raising his hand.

You puffed your cheeks out and furrowed your brows in cute frustration, “but I don’t wanna~” You whined crossing your arms.

“Too bad princess, it’s been decided.” Hyunjin said devilishly as he poured everyone's shot glass. You fidgeted it around annoyingly as your friends played Rock Paper Scissors to decided who would start the game. You were bad at rock, paper, scissors too so you didn’t bother joining in.

“Yes!” Felix shouted in triumph, “Okay let’s go! First one. Never have I ever… Kissed a stranger.”

“Oh come on!” Jisung protested, “That’s not fair, everyone has!” “Not me,” Felix said giving a smirk of satisfaction.

Everyone took a shot except Felix and Jeongin.

Minho went next, “Never have I ever… Sent someone a naughty picture.”

“What!!” “No way!” “Seriously?!”

Everyone was shouting their annoyance before taking another shot and refilling each others glasses. You mumbled a thanks to Chan for filling yours. Minho was the only one who didn’t shoot.

“Never have I ever…” Seungmin glanced your way before continuing, “Made out with the same sex.”

Your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed, not that it was something to be embarrassed about. It only happened once and she was hot and you were drunk and for god’s sake it was opening weekend! But… how did he know?

“Hey that’s discrimination,” Jinnie protested as he and Felix linked their shot arms around each other’s before drinking. “Lucky we’re okay with it.”

You stared at your glass biting your lip, Seungmin’s stare was burning holes in you, “aren’t you going to drink, (Y/N)?” He asked.

Everyone snapped to look at you, including Changbin who raised an eyebrow. His baseball hat hid most of his eyes, but you had memorized the way his face moved since the day you met him.

“Really?” “What, when? WITH WHO?” “You never told me,” Chan said laughing, covering his mouth with his hand in shock.

You licked your teeth and scrunched your face up trying not to curse Seungmin to hell before shooting your shot back and slamming the glass on the table without any salt or lime to follow.

“You’re such an ass.” You replied staring Seungmin down, whipping the bit of liquor off your chin.

He shrugged nonchalantly before nodding at Jeongin to continue which was unfair as he was still pretty innocent and everyone always had to drink to his never have I ever’s.

Changbin was next and you made eye contact with him for the first time in weeks. His dark eyes made your heart stop, they were unreadable as always and you felt exposed under his gaze. You quickly blinked away not wanting anyone to notice. “Never have I ever.. had a friend with benefits.”

“What?!” Jisung exlaimed, “Liar!” Changbin laughed shaking his head, “One night stands and friends with benefits are not the same.”

More groans were heard around as everyone took a shot, except you and Changbin.

“What? Really?” Jisung asked nudging you.

You blinked at him.

“What? Is it that surprising?” What did they take you for? “Like Changbin said, one night stands and friends with benefits are not the same thing.” You shrugged cheekily crossing your arms over your chest.

Jisung was next, “Never have I ever, given a lap dance.”

Boy were you on a roll, finally! “I haven’t!!” You shouted startling Jisung.

“No way!! What about opening night?!” Why was everyone trying to bring up dirt from opening night? It was starting to seem suspicious.

“What about opening night? You mean the pole dancing?” He nodded expectantly, “Pole dancing does not equal lap dance, oh innocent one.” You cooed pinching his cheeks.

“Okay my turn!!” You shouted gleefully, trying to think of something they’ve all done that you hadn’t. You hummed, musing, nibbling your lip, “Oh, I know! Never have I ever watched p*rn with someone else!”

“Why is that so oddly specific?” Chan asked taking his shot. “Because I know y’all are dirty,” You said watching as every single one of them took a shot.

Except one person.

Chan looked over at Changbin suspiciously, Changbin shrugged as if they were communicating telepathically, “Seriously? Never?”

“Nope, never." Changbin said before laughing.

“I guess we know a future dare.” Hyunjin said looking between you and Changbin with an evil grin.

You didn’t like the sound of that.

The game continued on for what seemed like forever and with each question your sanity slipped further and further away. Eventually the tequila was switched for regular booze as most of you were starting to crossover from tipsy to drunk.

Never Have I Ever: Slept nude - drink Skinny dipped - drink Hooked up with someone you just met - drink

“Okay okay okay, last one,” Chan stirred his accent getting thicker the more he drank, “Never have I ever… thought of someone else while having sex.”

Fuck. Me.

You glared at him, which all he did was return a stupid grin before hiccuping. Everyone was quiet looking to see who would be the one to drink. Chan really knew all of your dirty secrets and you tried to make a mental note of never telling him anything ever again, even though you knew that wouldn’t work out well.

As you held up the glass to your lips you made eye contact with him again. Changbin also drank to that. You paused for a moment, remembering your one night stand at the BTP party and how the guy was nice enough and cute enough, and buff enough… but he wasn’t enough. He wasn’t as good looking as Changbin, he wasn’t as hot or as toned as Changbin, his voice wasn’t as sexy as Changbin’s and his arms weren’t as sexy as Changbin’s, and your drunken ass told Chan that as he held your hair back on your bathroom floor as you puked up everything you had ever digested that day and cried to him about the guy not being Changbin.

What. The. Hell.

“Ohh~” Everyone cooed darkly looking between you too. “That’s kind of hot,” Jinnie said before deciding we were moving on to truth or dare.

“I need some fresh air,” You said, before grabbing your coat and rushing out the front door into the cold December air. There was a knot that had begun to form in your chest, you knew if you didn’t get out of there you would probably have a panic attack.

“Fuck you, Christopher Bang!” You shouted before climbing the stairs on the side of the building up to the rooftop. It was late and cold, so no one would be up there. No one was ever really up there, the sight wasn’t anything special. You could see campus from here and some hills in the distance. You pulled out a vape pen and sucked in a deep breath of menthol. The familiar feeling of smoke filling your lungs took the edge off. Not that it was something to be proud of, but we all had our vices.

You tensed as you heard footsteps coming up the stairs and cursed yourself for forgetting your pocket knife down in the apartment. One could never be too safe but assuming it was just Chan you started,

“You’re such an asshole Christopher Bang I’m never telling you anything ev—“ You deadpanned as you turned around to see Seo Changbin at the top of the stairs. Your eyes widened and you quickly hid your vape in the your jacket pocket. “I— I’m so sorry I thought you were Chan.”

He waved dismissively, “Can I… Can I join you?”

You nodded and for some reason you didn’t want anything more than to just disappear at that very moment.

“It’s…” you started, looking over the edge of the apartment building, “It’s nice to see you again. I mean we see each other on campus and stuff but I mean, you know, all together again.”

You bit your lip and squeezed your eyes shut annoyed with how stupid the words coming out of your mouth sounded. You were surprised when Changbin chuckled. He liked it when you got flustered.

“Yeah, it’s nice to see you too.” His hands were in his pockets but it seemed like they were clenched. “Chan mentioned you did well on your performance midterm.”

Chan talked about you with him? “Oh, that… yeah it was okay. I still need to do better.”

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.” You met his gaze, “You’ve always been so hard on yourself.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you didn’t say anything at all. The silence drew on, sitting somewhere between awkward and comfortable silence. But at the same time, that’s how it always used to be. Changbin was never overtly clingy, at least not to you, and you never were to him always keeping a respectful distance. Not because he was mean but… you just assumed he didn’t want to cling to you.

“I’m sorry for not reaching out when you left.” You mumbled breaking the silence at last. “No, it’s okay.” He said, taking his hat off, ruffling his hair and putting it back on. You smiled at the gesture and he smiled back catching you staring, “What?”

“Nothing. I just missed this.” He nodded in agreement before suggesting you two go back inside before the guys started to worry.

You returned to a painful game of truth or dare. And by painful you meant extremely embarrassing you could literally die.

“I have to do what?!” You were standing, hands on hips, foot tapping impatiently waiting for someone to explain what happened while you went to pee out the alcohol.

“Just pick a shot glass and drink, whichever you want.” Chan said for the third time.

“Okay but what’s the catch? Do I die? Am I poised? Do I turn into a fucking pumpkin?”

“You have to sit on said persons lap.” Jinnie deadpanned.

“I… what?”

“Choose a glass and drink it and whoever poured that glass, you have to sit on their lap for twenty minutes.” Everyone seemed giddy with Hyunjin’s explanation but you could feel your cheeks burning at the small chance that you would end up picking his glass and— no, no, no, shut up there’s literally seven other glasses that means the odds are 1 out of 8.. that’s good.. right?

You whined and stomped over to the coffee table where the shot glasses were formed in a circle. Logically, they just poured them out and placed the glasses in front of them right? You smiled, grabbing the glass that was closet to Chan, convinced that it was his. If you had to do such a weird and uncomfortable thing, at least do it with your best friend, right?

You threw back the glass feeling the hot liquid drip down your throat. “There! Happy? So now I just sit here?” You asked pointing at Chan.

Seungmin shook his head mischievously, “No, you sit over there,” you followed his finger to Changbin who was seated on an accent chair next to the sofa, he was smirking at you and god he looked so hot with that black t-shirt and,

“Wait- what?! Why?” You asked in protest. “Weren’t you paying attention!” Jisung shouted standing up and pushing you over to Changbin. “We switched up the glasses dummy. We knew you’d just go for Chan’s glass so we switched them around.”

“Sorry baby girl, can’t save you this time.” Chan said apologetically.

Jisung pushed you down into Changbin’s lap and you could feel him tense up. The guys couldn’t stop laughing and Hyunjin even took a picture, probably to blackmail you with later.

“S-sorry.” You stammered, so low you weren’t sure Changbin heard it. To your surprise he wrapped his arms around your waist and arms and secured you in place. That only made everyone lose their shit once again. You were sure your cheeks would be stained permanently red from now on.

What you didn’t realize is that most of tonight was a set up. No thanks to Chan. He knew how you felt, and he knew how Changbin felt. Chan was tired of being the middle man when neither of you wanted to confront your feelings for each other, so that’s what led you here. The night continued and you felt that every minuted was an eternity.

You were extremely aware of everything going on at that moment, despite the alcohol that still lingered in your veins. You were painfully aware of Changbin’s arms and how his muscles flexed with even the smallest movement or shift from them, of how his breath seemed to become shallower with the time that passed, of how hot his hand felt on your skin between your jeans and top that rid up, though, it was only a graze, or of how you could have sworn you could feel his heart beating from his chest pressed against your back. Maybe that was your own? Since this was your dare and Changbin was also suffering for it, the only mercy the guys offered you two was a pass until the 20 minutes were over.

“Okay, (Y/N), time!” Felix called as his timer went off. You immediately tried yeeting yourself off of Changbin but his grip stopped you

“But what if I like you here?” He asked, whispering in your ear. You were certain no one else heard but your eyes would have given everything away if someone had looked your way. There was a knot in your throat and butterflies in your stomach and that definitely made you… hot. He released you after a second, which you gratefully and not so gracefully sat on the cool floor, thankful for the guys being distracted and bickering for once.

Chan offered you a glass of water, though, he was probably doing it to sober you up but you really just needed to cool off.

“Changbin, truth or dare?” Minho asked “Truth.” “Have you ever thought about sleeping with (Y/N)?”

You chocked on the water you were chugging spitting it all over the front of your shirt, Chan was by you in an instant rubbing your back and telling you to look up so it would pass.

“Damn, talk about getting straight to the point,” Felix mused.

Chan helped pat dry your face and shirt while you peaked at Changbin through the corner of your eyes dreading what was going to come out of his mouth. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long for a response.

“Yeah, of course.”

Yeah, of course?! What was that suppose to mean?!

The younger boys celebrated and high fived each other, before turning to Minho. “You owe us 20 each.” Jeongin said, Minho rolled his eyes before taking out his wallet.

Why were you friends with these assholes again?

“(Y/N)” “What?” You flinched in response to Hyunjin’s voice. “Truth or dare?”

You weighed your options. You really didn’t want to say truth for fear of them asking you the same thing and there was no way you could admit to wanting to sleep with Seo Changbin.

“Dare.” The dark grin that spread across Jinnie’s face made you instantly regret your choice, though you were positive you would have regretted it either way.

“I dare you to watch a p*rn video with Changbin.”

And that is how you ended up here, at 2am, kind of drunk, locked in your own bedroom, in the dark, with the only light source being from your laptop that sat in the middle of your small bed. You hugged your knees to your chest, staring at P-Hub’s home page. Changbin was sitting cross legged next to you leaning back on his arm.

“So…” He started, awkwardly. “Why don’t you choose?” “Me? Why don’t you?” He exhaled rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll probably choose something terrible. Don’t girls have better taste in adult videos anyway?” “What does that even mean?” You asked before jumping at the sound of someone pounding at the door.

“We don’t hear any video playing !!” It was Chan.

Mental note: kick his ass.

You sighed in defeat pulling the computer closer to you before typing in “morning sex” into the search bar.

“Really? Didn’t take you for a morning sex type of girl” Changbin mused. “I’m not, but that doesn’t mean it’s not cute to watch.” You replied scrolling through the videos looking for the least uncomfortable looking one. Maybe something vanilla will be less awkward. “So… you watch porn often?” He asked after a moment.

You stopped scrolling, closing your eyes and taking in a deep breath, “What do you care?” You turned to face him, but his face face was… so much closer than you were expecting. Your eyes widen slightly and your voice caught in your throat.

He was so… breathtaking. His dark eyes and soft skin unreadable… as always.

Clearing your throat you focus your attention back onto the screen. Though, you could feel Changbin’s eyes on you, observing you.

You finally settled on a video that looked innocent enough… well, as innocent as p*rn could be. The title was “Sensual morning s*x ended up with hard doggy.” Classy. The title didn’t even make sense but I guess that was budgeting for you.

Before you pressed play, you turned to face Changbin once again, trying not to linger on the thought of how his cologne smelled really… attractive. “No words.”

“No promises.” He replied before reaching over your lap and hitting the spacebar to play the video.

It started out slowly, with the guy’s hand going down her stomach. It’s quiet, though, he doesn’t waste any time on teasing and instead going straight into fingering her and palming her clit. It’s not long until you can hear her moans start to pick up at the sound of his fingers going in and out of her wet core. You couldn’t believe you were watching p*rn with Seo Changbin.

The girl in the video adjusts herself so that she can take the guys cock into her mouth while she’s on her back, him on his knees somewhere between letting her control his pleasure and him wanting to take over.

“Her boobs are pretty,” you muse, more so out of slight jealousy considering yours weren’t the biggest… they barely filled a b-cup.

“Aren’t you suppose to be here for the dick?” Changbin asked laughing a little louder than normal, that was the only thing that gave away his nerves.

You shrugged, “I guess it’s okay, it’s just when girls see things like this we tend to compare ourselves even though we don’t mean to.” What were you saying? Maybe you were still tipsier than you thought. Liquor had a way of bring out the truth in anyone.

“Your boobs are really nice.” You inhaled so quickly at Changbin’s compliment you started chocking again.

“How would you know that?” You asked hitting your chest to catch your breath.

“We went skinny dipping during the senior trip, remember?”

Oh, right. You did.

It was Hyunjin’s idea of course, and because it was Hyunjin’s idea Felix went too. Of course, Felix invited Chan who in turn invited Jisung, Changbin and you. The others didn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night to sneak out so it was just you guys. You snuck out of the cabins and trekked your way through the dark forest. That was the only time you ever held on so close to Changbin, gripping his arm, trying to keep up with their pace with the only light being from your phones to guide you.

Once you made it to the lake there was hidden booze and strip poker, followed by everyone jumping into the lake butt naked. You were all drunk so no one really remembers the skinny dipping part, and you almost forget it yourself.

“I.. almost forgot about that.” You said playing with the the hem of your shirt. “I don’t ever want to forget.” Changbin hummed. His eyes going back to the screen.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it even this vanilla video was turning you on. Or maybe it was the thought of Changbin being so close to you.

The guy finally put his dick in her and her moans were so pretty. The video was aesthetically pleasing, on a comfortable and wide couch. The sunlight was coming in through the blinds, it made her skin look so pretty. You didn’t realize earlier but the video is from his point of view so you could only make out his decent cock size and his hands on her thighs. Her moans started echoing around your room as he pounded into her, her boobs jiggling slightly at the pace. He held one of her legs up over his shoulder and massaged her boob with the other.

You didn’t realize how intently you were watching, biting your lip in anticipation of their sounds. Sounds really turned you on, probably more than watching did. You closed your eyes letting your imagination slip away little by little. You imagined being in that girls place. How long was it since you got laid?

“Fuck.” You muttered before realizing the word left your lips, your eyes springing open. “Sorry.”

Changbin wasn’t watching the screen anymore, you realized, he was watching you. The way your eyes had been so fixated on the screen, how you bit your lip so hard he thought you might bleed. The way you squeezed your eyes shut, your chest starting to rise and fall more shallow. He could tell you were imagining something. His eyes were dark with lust, his mind wondering how you would sound saying his name. Moaning from the pleasure that he was giving you.

His gaze made you shrink back into yourself, it made you wet and tremble. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat and say something, anything to break this fog that was starting to swallow you.

“Wh-what are you thinking about?” You stuttered out, the moans from the computer screen sounding so distant now and drowned out by how loud Changbin felt.

“I’m thinking of..” He started, placing an index finger on your lips, tracing them ever so slowly. His eyes, hungry. “How your pretty lips would look around my cock.”

You were taken aback by his bold words, but there was no denying he was stoking a fire that was starting to form at the pit of your stomach. He slipped a finger into your mouth, you whimpered at the sensation, wrapping your tongue around his finger and closing your eyes, listening as his breathing deepened.

“Damn, (Y/N), I really didn’t take you for a slut.” He stuck a second finger into your mouth, making you moan slightly. “Look at me when I talk to you.”

He grabbed your jaw with his free hand, the sudden movement making you fall onto your back and him on top. His hat fell to the side and his messy hair made him look even more dangerous. The sudden movement made him snap out of his daze and sit up.

“Fuck, (Y/N), I’m so sorry that was uncalled for.” Changbin got to his feet, securing his hat firmly back on his head. “We finished the video, I’m going to head out first.”

Changbin rushed out and you followed soon after composing yourself only to find an empty and dark apartment.

#seo changbin #changbin #changbin x reader #changbin scenarios #seo changbin scenarios #skz #skz scenarios #skz x reader #smut #changbin smut #skz smut #changbin imagines #seo changbin imagines #myfic #nhie1 #nhie

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imaginingmyloki · 4 years ago

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A Shift in Reality

Fandom/universe: Marvel

Pairing: LokixReader

Timeline: AU marvel where its after Ragnarok so Loki keeps his character development and no one dies because infinity war/end game never happened :)

Word Count: 2140

A/N: So this is the first non-requested fic I have written in a long time. Reader’s powers are essentially Daisy Johnson’s powers (earthquake/vibrations for those who haven’t seen agents of shield- if you havent seen it I HIGHLY recommend it! If any part of reader’s powers being used for certain things get confusing I’ll try to link a youtube video of Daisy using her powers doing the same thing to see a visual of it! But here’s an overview video of her using her powers to do a lot of really cool stuff if you’re interested :) not at all relevant to the story but I have a MAJOR crush on daisy haha). I’m already working on part 2 and it should be posted early next week! Anyways, I hope you guys like it :) and requests are open so if you have any let me know!

“Kid, where are you?” Stark came over coms sounding like a frantic father. “I’m fine, Tony. I’m 26 and I don’t need a babysitter.” I had only been with the team for a couple months. Tony had found me in rough shape, running after escaping from Hydra. After a few weeks healing and training, I had been allowed to go on a few easy missions with the team but always had to stay with someone since I was still learning to control my abilities. Hydra didn’t teach me control, they only taught me to use anger as the driving force behind my power and with powers like mine, that could get dangerous quickly. This was my first mission where I wasn’t instructed to stay with someone the entire time. I still ended up walking with Loki for the first few minutes after everyone splitting up. He and I had become friends since I had moved to the compound. He was the only one who didn’t look at me like he was waiting for me to break or pestering me to talk about what I had been through before joining them. It was supposed to be a simple mission just to gather some intel from an old shut down Hydra base. I turned down a hallway that had a door at the end as Loki turned down one on the opposite side of the corridor. He gave me a nod before we went our separate ways as if to reassure me that I could handle this. I made my way towards the door and realized that it was slightly open and I could hear low talking inside. I paused just outside the door to listen, “There’s at least 6 of them here and probably more outside for backup. We need to hurry up and wipe the server and blow the rest of it.”

I tried to warn Loki over coms but didn’t get an answer so slowly made my way into the room, staying out of sight of the two men sitting at the bank of computers. As I snuck around a large shelf, something came into view. A bomb that had a timer on it and was counting down. It was hooked to multiple, smaller impact bombs that would go off after the initial explosion disturbed them.This would cause catastrophic damage to the building. We had 2 minutes until it would bring the building down on top of everyone inside. Giving up on staying hidden, I stepped out, hands at the ready, and said “Stop the bomb. Now.” The man at work on the computer continued what he was doing and the man who had an air of authority about him slowly turned to face me and the air in my lungs suddenly went cold. His name was Nelson and he was the man that had been in charge of me when Hydra had me captive. It took everything in me to remind myself that I was in control of myself and I didn’t need to tell him that I was ready to comply with whatever orders he would give me. I was free now and there would be no punishments for disobeying. “Well now if it isn’t my most promising weapon of mass destruction. We’ve been looking for you. The boss is not happy with me for losing you. You took out quite a few high value assets on your way out.” He was smirking and the look on his face made me feel like I was missing a piece of the puzzle. With coms still silent and no sign of anyone coming to help me, the fear started to sink in and the room around us started trembling as I began to lose control of my powers. Nelson chuckled, “Still having trouble controlling the fear, I see. Guess we didn’t quite beat that out of you yet, huh?” I glanced quickly at the timer, a minute and 15 seconds left. Loki suddenly came running into the room, a knife in both hands. Before I could say anything to him, the knives left his hands with a swift flick of his wrist. One took out the man at the computer and the other landed in Nelson’s shoulder. “Go, Loki. Get everyone else out of here.” He ignored me and sent a warning out to the others over coms. Mine was apparently the only one not working. I heard Nelson let out a short laugh at my confusion. “Of course we knew you were here, 9213. We may not be able to hack all of Stark’s tech but we can manage to fry a single com unit.” Hydra didn’t refer to any of their assets by names. It was either “soldier” for those that they tried to replicate the winter soldier on or by your file number. I was file number 9213. Just as I was about to respond, the bomb went off. Without thinking, I dove towards it and used my powers to contain the explosion. Loki punched Nelson, knocking him out. The exertion of trying to hold the explosion in place was starting to get to me. “Loki, I need to let this go. Is everyone out?” he nodded and I told him to go as well. He didn’t move but I couldn’t hold it anymore so I pushed it as far as I could in the opposite direction of Loki. The force of the explosion threw me into the shelves and just before everything went black I realized that Nelson was nowhere to be seen.

--2 weeks later--

I sighed in frustration as I rolled over and adjusted the pillow for what felt like the hundredth time. Every single time I lay down and close my eyes to sleep since we got back from the mission, I can hear a rhythmic humming noise but when I open my eyes to try and find the source of the noise, it disappears. Giving up on sleep, I made my way to the kitchen for a midnight snack. “Oh for fucks sake, why does Thor keep putting the Oreos on the top shelf?” I grumbled to myself as I climbed up on the counter to reach my favorite cookies and heard a low chuckle behind me. “Need some help with that, Love?” I turned around with my arms crossed and looked down at Loki from where I was standing on the counter. “You could have offered before I climbed up here...” I pouted. After grabbing the Oreos and Loki helping me down from the counter, we sat on the couch together. Loki was almost always awake late at night so we had developed a sort of routine. We sat and talked for a few hours about everything or we sat and read together. Tonight was a reading kind of night but after a few minutes of comfortable silence he said “So what’s been keeping you up this late, Darling? Sleepless nights are my forte but before recently, I rarely saw you up and about after midnight.” I didn’t know how to explain the nonexistent noise that was plaguing me and keeping me awake without sounding crazy. After a few minutes of quiet contemplation I sighed and said “Ever since we got back from the mission a couple weeks ago, I hear this humming noise whenever I am trying to sleep but its almost like I’m hearing it through a wall. It’s muted but loud at the same time.” He gave me a look of concern “You hit your head pretty hard on that mission.. you were knocked out until we got back home to the compound. You should talk to Banner and make sure you’re ok.” I told him I would talk to Banner when he came down from his room. The sun was just starting to rise and I wanted to go up to the roof to enjoy the peace that always comes with the way the sun slowly chases the darkness away.

I had been up on the roof for an hour, enjoying the quiet with my eyes closed and my face turned towards the sun. This was my favorite place to meditate and destress. After relaxing and getting my mind to go blank, I started to hear the noise again. Instead of immediately opening my eyes like I had been at night, I tried to focus on the noise to see if I could tell what it was. The humming noise started to die down some and I started hearing a slight beeping in its place. Just as I was about to give up, I heard a familiar voice say “(Y/n)? Can you hear me?” but when I opened my eyes there was no one on the roof with me. With the addition of hearing voices added to my list of problems I decided to give up on meditating and head down to the clinic to see Bruce. When I got to the clinic and told him what was going on he gave me a concerned look. After he ran a few tests, Banner came back into the clinic and I could tell by the look on his face that he was just as confused as I was. “Nothing in the tests suggests that there is any residual damage from the hit you took and you passed the hearing tests with flying colors so I don’t think that it affected your auditory cortex.” he said as he sat back in the chair across from me, rubbing his chin in deep thought. I could tell it was truly bothering him that something was wrong and he couldn’t figure out what it was or how to fix it. There was a knock on the door and Loki peeked his head in, “Are you alright, (Y/N)?” I smiled at him and gestured to the seat next to me, inviting him to come sit. As he sat down Bruce said “So you said you only hear it when trying to sleep or when you let your mind go blank while meditating?” I nodded and he said “OK so I have an idea. What if we try giving you something to help you sleep? You can sleep here in the clinic so we can monitor everything and maybe get some answers on what’s going on with you.” He must have seen the hesitancy on my face because he was immediately reassuring me that I would be 100% safe and looked after at all time. Loki grabbed my hand and said “I will sit by your side while you rest and look after you myself.” This calmed my nerves a bit and I reluctantly agreed. After Bruce administered the meds and I got comfortable, I was beginning to feel pretty drowsy. Loki and Banner had pulled the comfortable couch from the library into the clinic and put nice cozy blankets on it for me. Loki had set up a chair next to me and was quietly reading out loud because he knew it helped to calm my nerves. As I drifted off to sleep the sound of his voice slowly faded and in its place was the humming. I started to notice more noises added to the humming. A steady beeping noise, hushed voices that I couldn’t quite make out, and I swear I could hear someone snoring. I reached up to scratch my nose and heard a gasp. “She moved. (Y/n)? Are you awake? Can you hear me?” I knew that voice. Why did I know that voice? I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. “What the hell is this?” I asked. My hand immediately went to my throat, surprised by how raspy and dry my voice sounded and the harsh feeling in my throat as if I hadn’t used my voice in a very long time. I was surrounded by strangers in white coats. “Who are you? Where am I?” I tried to move but realized I was hooked up to machines. Wires and IV lines getting tangled as I moved. The beeping was coming from a heart monitor next to my bed. I was in a hospital. Did Nelson find a way to take me away from the compound? I raised my hand in an attempt to use my powers and make a run for it but nothing happened. I looked at my hand in confusion and then searched the room for any kind of clue as to what the hell was happening. There was a small tv on in the corner that caught my attention. The team was on the tv. It was in New York and they were fighting aliens. “Is that the news? What happened?” everyone was looking at me. A small woman slowly sat on the end of the hospital bed and put a hand on my foot. The familiar voice from earlier came from her and said “(Y/n), honey, thats just a movie. Its your favorite movie. Remember? The Avengers?”

#Loki Laufeyson #loki x y/n #marvel #Avengers #loki imagine

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gothgovernment · 4 years ago

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In Bed With Geo (Louis Tomlinson One Shot)

December 2015

"Hi friends and welcome back to in bed with Geo. As you can see, today I'm in bed by myself. This video has been a long time coming, which makes filming it right now absolutely terrifying..." I trail off with a nervous laugh. "Because I was so nervous, I spent three hours getting ready just to avoid this for as long as possible." I smile into the camera before taking a moment to collect my thoughts.

"As I'm sure you've all heard, One Direction announced their hiatus today. I've known this was coming for a few weeks now and it breaks my heart to see this all come to an end. These guys are the reason I have a career. These guys are some of my best friends. These guys are the reason I'm still here. And I am so proud of them for doing what's right and taking a break now before they all burn out..." I start to tear up. Fuck this video is going to be a rough one to edit.

"So, this is my story of how One Direction, and one member in particular, impacted my life in the best way possible."

September 2011

"Welcome Mr Tanaka," the petite lady at the door said as she let my father and I into the party. It was packed with important looking people wearing their nicest suits and dresses. One Direction signs littered the walls as everyone celebrated the release of the boy bands first single 'What Makes You Beautiful'. My dad is a musician with Syco. He helped write and record the guitar for One Directions upcoming debut album. I've always admired his work and I am so proud of him for helping aspiring musicians to realize their dreams.

Dad turned to me and smiled while throwing his tattooed arm around me, "you look so beautiful tonight, honey." He always knew how to ease my nerves. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as I responded with a soft thanks. "I've got to go congratulate the boys, want to come meet them?"

"Of course! I've only been asking you to introduce me since your first session with them," I giggled as Dad stuck his tongue out at me. I quickly grabbed a glass of champagne from a tray a waitress was carrying before following dad in the direction of 5 young lads. As we approached them, beautiful blue eyes locked with mine. I smiled politely at the handsome boy as Dad and I came to a stop in front of the group. He returned the smile and stuck his hand out for me to shake.

"Ahh so you're Geo. Izuki here has not shut up about you! I'm Louis," he said cheekily, giving my dad a playful nudge on the shoulder after our hands parted.

"Oh really? What has he said about me? All good things I assume," I bite back a smile as I see Dad rolling his eyes at us. Dad has told me a lot about the boys, but especially Louis. He seems to think we are destined to be friends.

"Alright, give it a rest," my Dad huffed with a smirk, "Boys!" My dad called to grab the attention of the remaining four band members. "This is my daughter Geo. Geo, this is Zayn, Harry, Liam and Niall." They all took turns shaking my hand with Harry even giving me a hug. "Right well, I'm leaving Geo with you while I go and talk business." Dad quickly turned and walked away, leaving me with these strangers. I watched Dad walk away before slowly turning back to the boys, immediately locking eyes with Louis again.

I spent the next 3 hours being dragged around the party by Louis, being introduced to countless important people. Something about this boys carefree and almost childish nature made me feel instantly attached to him. He is just so unapologetically himself all the time, it's almost contagious.

We had just finished raiding the food table when Louis asked me, "so, Geo... what are your plans for the future? Izuki has mentioned you're an incredible drummer." I should have known my Dad would talk about my drumming. It is, after all, his greatest achievement in me. Instilling me with a passion for music is the reason we are so close to each other. After my mother suddenly passed away, connecting through music has gotten us through our grief.

"Well right now my dream is to work as a drum tech but I also have an idea for a YouTube channel where I interview musicians, in my bed, pyjamas on, and ask them real questions. I want to talk to people about how their lives have influenced their music. How being in the industry impacts them. I want to know about their families, their hopes and dreams. I want to talk to artists like real people. Get to know why they are in this industry and if it's worth it. If the pros outweigh the cons... But that's just a fantasy. I would have no idea where to even start. I mean, the only musicians I really know are my dad and now you." I fiddle with the ring on my middle finger, realizing I just gave a much longer than necessary answer. Louis' silence causes me to look away from my ring and toward him. He is looking at me, mouth agape. His face suddenly splits into a smile which instantly helps to ease my slowly growing anxiety.

"You're a very interesting girl, Geo. Very interesting indeed..." He trails off as he quickly pulls out his phone, texting someone rapidly.

It's now close to midnight and Dad has decided to call it a night. As I bid farewell to the boys in the form of hugs, I reach Louis last.

"So..." I made eye contact with the Doncaster boy. "is there any chance I could grab your number? Ya know, in case you ever feel like making that dream a reality?" The cheeky glint in his eye makes me nervous.

"What? You want to come on my imaginary show?" Surely he was just being polite. No way would he actually want to waste his time on an interview that would maybe get 6 views.

"I text the lads about it earlier and we're all on board. It sounds like a brilliant idea. I fully believe in you, love." Okay wow, this feels like a dream. THE X Factor boy band One Direction want to be interviewed by me?

"If you're trying to make me swoon, you've achieved your goal," I giggle, pulling my phone out of my purse and handing it to him. When he returns my phone I see that he had text himself 'sup u sexy fuck'. I burst out laughing before giving him a long hug, whispering a goodbye in his ear.

December 2015

"I met One Direction in 2011 at the single launch for 'What Makes You Beautiful'. My dad was the guitarist for all of the recording and writing of Up All Night. All the boys instantly accepted me into their lives. Especially my now best friend Louis Tomlinson. After talking to Lou about wanting to start this channel, he immediately encouraged me and we set up the first ever 'In Bed With... One Direction'. That video gained 400,000 views within six months and affectively created my career. My whole life as I know it is owed to Lou. If it wasn't for his complete and utter faith in me, I don't think I would be here today." I start to cry, reminiscing on beautiful memories. I take a sip of my tea and think for a moment. I really wish L was here right now, but I know we would both be blubbering messes. I need to do this alone. For once, I need to do something without relying on him.

"Since my first interview with One Direction my channel has blown up. It has afforded me this house, my friends, the opportunity to meet some of my biggest idols and most importantly it has moulded me into the strong and powerful woman I am today. So I want to take this opportunity to thank you boys. Louis, Harry, Zayn, Niall and Liam. I love each of you more than I can put into words."

My phone buzzes beside me and I pick it up. 'Big Louser' sent me a text.

baby g, you okay? youve

not text me in a week :(

I sighed as I put the phone back down. I should have known he'd pick up on me semi-ghosting him. I have been so nervous around him ever since he and Eleanor split up about 9 months ago. It's like, I finally have my chance to tell him how I feel but I am so scared of losing the best part of my life. That's why, when he called me about a month ago to say the band had finally come to the conclusion of going on an extended break, I knew I had to make this video. So that the world can know and remember how important Louis and the rest of the lads are. And so that Lou can finally know how I feel. I pick my phone back up, knowing I should reply.

I'm sorry L. I promise

I'll make it up to you.

I'm filming a new video

right now that will be up

later tonight. I'll send

you the link when it's up!

Love you x

I turn my phone onto do not disturb and return my focus to the camera. "I want to talk a little bit about each of the boys from a friends perspective. Firstly, I would like to talk about Zayn. Z, you are one of the gentlest, kindest people I have ever met. You have dealt with so much during and after your time with the band. The constant racist and Islamophobic tweets and comments really wore you down a lot more than you'd let on. But Z, you would always rise above them, knowing that your culture made you into the incredible person you are today." I pause, hesitant about what I am going to say next. I would hate to overstep any boundaries here.

Choosing my words carefully, I continue. "Leaving the band must have been the toughest decision anyone could make. I remember you texting me about two months after you left to ask if I thought you'd made the right choice leaving behind your friends, your brothers. Your concern wasn't about if this would affect your future career, it was if it affected your friends. That's the epitome of the Zayn I love." I knew I would edit in a few videos I have of Z and I over the years throughout this mini speech.

I have a video of Zayn and I napping together on the couch in the green room before their show in Sydney in February of this year. He'd been really anxious about the first show of the tour and the nerves wore him out. We were originally sat together, talking about how huge this tour was going to be when he drifted off to sleep with me in his arms. I soon followed after and we napped for two hours before he was woken up to get his hair done. Who would have known that just a few weeks later he would crumble under the pressure and quit. I wish I noticed the warning signs.

"Liam 'good game' Payne, where do I begin? You are my brother, my teammate, my friend. You have always been my favourite person to play Fifa with. I remember a week after my Dad died, I heard the doorbell ring and when I opened it, you were standing there with a dozen of my favourite red velvet cupcakes and your PS4 controller. We played together in silence for hours. Once I was finally ready to talk, you stayed awake with me until 6am, sharing stories about my Dad, our lives and talking about our futures. I will always cherish you, no matter how frustrating you can be." Again, I know exactly what videos to edit in of Liam and I. One of them is him, wearing a crop top and skirt voguing after I did a full glam makeup look on him. He's going to hate me for posting it.

"Haz. My love. My guiding star. I would be a complete disaster without you. Although you are the worlds worst replier and you never answer when I call, you always seem to text me or show up at my house right when I feel like I'm falling apart. It's like the universe has linked you to me. You're my crisis line, and I am yours. I cannot even begin to count all the nights we have lied on the couch together just crying. Happy crying, sad crying, angry crying... It would almost have to be as many nights that we have spent laughing together. H, you were destined to be a rockstar. I can't think of any other job you could be more suited to. I know this is just the beginning for you, and I honestly can't wait to see you grow." I still cannot believe that my baby H is only 21 yet has achieved more than most people do in their entire lifetime. "I love you almost as much as I love apple pie." I am full on crying now. That last sentence really broke me. He and I have an inside joke that nothing in this world is better than a homemade apple pie. We would often text each other about incredible/rare/unique moments and rate them on an apple pie scale.

"Horan. I don't really have much I can say here because 90% of our conversations are inside jokes but I will say this; you have changed my life in such a unique way. I know we've had our differences, but I wouldn't change any of it. You're the one person who can make me laugh no matter what mood I'm in. You are such a light to this world. Without you in this band, I think the boys would've collapsed under the pressure a long time ago. Without you, this industry would've swallowed up every bit of joy they have. You have kept all of us sane with your stupid, loud laughter and irritatingly optimistic attitude. Please never, ever change for anyone you precious wanker." I know that I might seem a bit harsh towards Niall, but this is how we speak to each other. We've always been way too honest and, at times, cynical with only each other. He truly is one of a kind. Niall and I haven't shared as many moments together as I have with the other boys, but the moments we've had are definitely special.

"And last but certainly not least, Louis 'dumb fuck' Tomlinson. I don't even know if I can put into words how you have changed my life. You are my favourite person in this entire universe. Without you, there's a good chance I wouldn't be alive today. You are the reason I have so much self-worth, confidence and happiness within myself. You have single-handedly gotten me through some of my deepest depressions. I can't imagine my life without you. I've been trying to think about what story best represents how you're truly an incredible friend. I decided that although everything you do is a testament to how amazing you are, I would tell the one that made me cry the most.

"The year was 2013, I was 20 years old and I experienced my first heartbreak. My girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me with multiple people. I called you up, crying so hard I couldn't form a sentence. You sat patiently on the phone with me for an hour, never knowing what was wrong, just waiting for me to calm down. When I finally just hung up because I couldn't string two words together you text me that you love me. Six hours later and you walked into my bedroom, pulled me into your arms and laid with me for two days. You flew home early from your press tour without any idea of what was wrong with me. You just knew I was upset and you pushed everything aside to be there for me. When I finally told you what had happened, you hugged me tighter, looked me in the eyes and said, "you are the most perfect person in the world and you deserve to be with someone who recognises that." I think it was then that I realised that I'm completely and utterly in love with you. But you were with Eleanor, whom I adore still to this day. I would never have wanted to ruin what you two had. Because all I've ever wanted since I met you is for you to be happy. And El always made you happy." A sob escapes my mouth as I think of how broken hearted I have felt over the last few years, knowing that my true love would never be mine.

I decide to talk some time to cool down, so I walk to my kitchen to make another cup of tea. While I wait for the jug to boil, I rub my finger over my tiny teacup tattoo. Lou and I got matching tattoos not long after the boys finished recording 'Little Things'. He showed me the song and I fell in love with his verse, so we went out that afternoon and got our tattoos together, his shout. I walk back into the bedroom, press record on the camera again and get comfortable.

"When you called me up crying because you and Eleanor split up, I came straight over and returned the favour. I lived at your house for a week, doing anything I could to make you happy again. And then you went back on tour, and I returned home, and I've never felt so alone. After that week of us spending every second of every day together I realised that you're my soulmate. There's no one I want to be around more than you. And I know you're going to be so mad that I'm posting this video instead of texting you back but I want the whole world to know that you are perfect."

I finished the video with a few happier stories about my time with the boys, then wrapped it up. This was going to be an emotional afternoon.

Pressing public on that video was strange. I almost felt numb after all the emotions I had poured out while filming and editing it. I immediately text the link to all 5 boys and went to have a shower. The video was about 20 minutes long so I expected their responses would be a little while away. What I didn't expect was to walk out of the shower and into my bedroom to see Louis sitting on the end of my bed, tears streaming down his face.

We made eye contact once he realized I had entered the room. Frozen in my spot, Louis took the initiative of standing up and walking towards me. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" His voice broke as he spoke, tears threatening to spill. I tried to form words but I was too scared of the impending rejection. "Geo. We're best friends. Why didn't you talk to me? I thought that... I..." His words trailed off as the tears streamed down his face. He looked down at his feet, he always gets embarrassed when he cries. I gently grab his right hand, causing him to make eye contact again.

"I am so, so, so sorry Lou. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I guess I thought saying it indirectly would make this easier but it's so much harder than I ever could have imagined." I look away from his bloodshot, blue eyes and focus on my hand in his. "I'm in love with you. I think I always have been... And I'm sorry that this will make our friendship weird now. I don't expect you to ever want to talk to me again to be honest."

"How fucking dare you think that. If you think I could live without you, you're insane." Louis swiftly pulled me towards him with his free hand, kissing me with all the love he could possibly give.

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years ago

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Title: Love, Maybe? {42}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst

Word Count: 4.7K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 42: Down With The Ship

-Vixen-

Thanks to how close opening night was you were busier than ever making sure things were perfect. You checked, double-checked and even triple checked everything, décor, menu, staff, vendors, setting, everything. You left nothing untouched by your meticulous eye and obsessive-compulsive attention. This meant you ate, slept and breathed your restaurant. You were up before sunrise out after breakfast with Ella, gone all day and not back until just before midnight. It was exhausting and you missed spending time with Ella but you were grateful for the distraction.

Before you knew it two weeks had passed since your life imploded. Two weeks since the story of the decade broke. For those two weeks, you were hounded by paparazzi almost everywhere. You were now on their radar and they were learning your moves. You had to be extra careful not to lead them back home to Ella. When Ella went anywhere it was usually with Nexus who was more than happy to play mom. She said it was great practice which made you think that things with Anthony were getting even more serious.

For the two weeks Chris called, but you ignored every one of them. What began as four or five calls a day dwindled to two then one. You still didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. You had way too much going on and you didn’t want to add to your plate. You took a meeting with Charmaine St. John to hear all she had to say then abruptly told her you didn’t want anything from him when she eluded you could get a “nice cut.”

She looked shocked at that. Then when you went on to say you weren’t going to proceed with taking half of everything she almost fell out of her seat. It was clear she was used to dealing with jilted Hollywood wives who felt entitled no matter what and wanted to go down fighting. That wasn’t you. You just wanted peace and quiet. She prepared the paperwork and faxed it to you. It was paperwork you still held on to.

Ella’s inquiries about Chris increased. What was once or twice a day turned into three or four or even five. The numerous facetime calls you’d orchestrated between Ella and Chris didn’t even seem to have mattered. Every time Nex told you it broke you. This was the reason you were apprehensive to involve him in the first place; this was why you worked as hard as you did to keep everything strictly platonic and complication free. For all the work you attempted you’d ended up right where you didn’t want to be.

You heard the bell chime from your phone and checked it to find an email from Kassius. He’d sent the contract proposal from Food Network a few days ago for you to review and go over with your lawyer. When you did it was revealed that they were being very generous, more generous than you suspected they had been to other no-name chefs.

According to Charmaine, they were offering an eighteen months contract for production of a cooking show with a twist that was creatively left up to you. Within the eighteen-month period, there were to be four episodes filmed a month, with smaller recordings they hoped to push for YouTube, and an extension review to be done at the end of the contract period. When it came down to money you were shocked by how many figures you saw. Charmaine told you it was very generous, but you should definitely leap on it.

You were apprehensive because it was rare for them to offer this kind of money to some no-name chef. You suspected and worried that they were showing the “kindness” of their hearts because of everything that was going on and your newly ousted status as Chris Evans’ wife and baby mama. You suspected they wanted to capitalize on it, either way, it was a win/win for them.

“What’s got you so far away?” Your mother approached and sat across from you. You sighed and shook your head.

“Remember that deal with Food Network?”

“Yes, we are all still incredibly proud of you, honey. My god, all your years of work, sleepless nights. I know it has been hard, harder than you let on and I am over the moon for your successes.” You felt the prick of tears. You knew she loved you, you knew she always had your best interest at heart, but this was so nice to hear her praise you rather than berate you for not having a boyfriend let alone a husband.

“Thanks, mom.” Her smile was warm, as was her hand that rested atop yours.

“The contract they sent over is—impressive. There is trying to woo someone to join you and then there is going all out. This is all out,” you explained.

“That’s good, right? So, what’s wrong?”

“I feel like it’s because I’m now linked to him. I feel like they’re willing to offer these things, this amount of money not because I’m me but because I’m close to him.”

“I’m going to stop you right there Vixen. You are my daughter, you are smart, talented, willful, ambitious, strong and such a force to be reckoned with. You know everything and if you don’t you fake it till you make it. You have no idea how talented you really are. I do not doubt for a second that the reason you are seeing the fruits of your tireless labor now is because of that talent, ambition and grueling desire to make an amazing life for your family and Ella.” Your tears rolled down your face of their own accord.

“Vixen, you are a star, that is the reason why your father and I gave you that name. Vixen to the American definition is fierce, fiery-tempered, and it was true. You cried twenty times louder and longer than any of the other babies, you were stubborn, quick to anger, and that temper ooh, it was hot but were you adorable.” She smiled bright which prompted your smile. You sniffled and dried your tears but they kept flowing.

“Vixen also means female fox. You know I believe in every culture and take pieces where I feel a connection. Guess you can call it my way of keeping in touch with my gypsy spirit, something I think you inherited more so than Nexus. This beautiful free spirit that loathes being tied down, loathes being boxed in and caged like a gilded bird. You want to be free, so you keep running for that freedom. In Japanese culture, there is a creature called Kitsune, a powerful mythical creature with an abundance of intelligence and power. Their energy is bright, hence your middle name. Your name is no coincidence honey, it was destined for you. It is your time. You are here because of you and you alone. Reap those rewards unabashedly,” she finished.

You could hear the conviction in her voice and see the pride coming off of her. It struck you. Nodding your head, you wiped your face and allowed her words to sink it.

“It is your time.”

You signed the contract and faxed it back to Kassius. You were filled with a mix of excitement, happiness, and sadness. You wanted to call him and tell him the good news, tell him about this exciting new thing in your life but you couldn’t. You also wanted to feel the happiness the event deserved but again, you couldn’t, not completely.

-Chris-

“I cannot believe you would do this! I cannot believe you’d do something so stupid. On the list of stupid things you’ve done which is quite long, this is the stupidest.”

He sighed and rubbed his face. He was tired of being reprimanded. This was round three with them and by them, he meant all of them. He was now sitting in his office in front of one of the biggest group video calls he’d done. On the screen was his mom, his sisters their significant others, his brother and his partner. It was a full house. He’d sat here for the last forty minutes as they each took a turn telling him what an idiot he was. He listened to it from every point of view, and no matter how he cut it he still felt like a dick.

“Okay enough! Jesus Christ, I get it I screwed this up,” he shouted.

“Baby brother, you did more than screwed it up. Ya’ fucked it up!”

Everyone began talking over each other and none of it sounded any different than when they’d started.

“Fa’ the love of God!” His shout was loud, and it echoed throughout the first floor of his home. It was loud enough for them to shut their mouths and hear his accent pop through. No one spoke for several long moments.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong. I know I messed up. I know I should have done things differently. I have gone around it time and time again, I wish I could change what I did, go back and handle it differently. I’m sorry.”

They still didn’t speak.

“Chris. Getting past the fact that you lied to us about marrying her and then continued to lie when you realized you were still married. We all can see you’re in love with her, I don’t know how she hasn’t seen it,” Shana stated.

He didn’t know it was that obvious. Thinking further, he’d practically told you how he felt, he just hadn’t said the words. You had to know.

“You have to tell her how you actually feel Chris. I get it you’re scared and everything that comes along with it. I get it. At some point though in order to get what you want you have to go after it—or her.”

He sighed. Somehow this had turned from a berating session to a counseling session.

“Look, I know you all mean well, but—she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you ya’ idiot. She’s hurt,” Carly informed in an annoyed tone. She then shook her head. “Chris you lied to her and honestly it is just the same as the lie she told. Neither of you are in the right. I get why she lied but you, I don’t get it. You lied to her and she feels stupid, she feels as if maybe you had an agenda. Like maybe you manipulated her and anything that was between you wasn’t real that it was just some figment of the situation that you ensured with your lie,” Carly finished.

“I had no agenda. All I wanted was a little time to show her what could be there, here between us.”

“You should have told her and gave her the choice. You took her choice away Chris. I get that rights and choices are huge with her especially seeing how independent she has been her entire life,” his mother simplified.

He sighed and nodded. She was right. He took your choice just as you’d taken his. Everything he’d felt in the first initial days since you’d told him about Ella you were now feeling. He didn’t think about it in that light.

“You have to be the one to fix this,” Shanna added.

“I don’t think I can. She said that they were better off without me.”

Scott made a “yikes” face, as did the rest of his siblings.

“Well, you kinda deserve that one. Have you seen what the press are doing to her? Her entire life is plastered everywhere. Not even just her, but Ella’s too. She didn’t ask for this and certainly wasn’t prepared. Her privacy is gone. This blindsided her,” Shanna’s boyfriend enlightened. It was insight from someone like you, normal, away from the eye of the press.

“Regardless if she wants you or not, or if you think she wants you or not you have to make this right. You have to stop using that as a crutch. You have to take a chance, Chris. Don’t she and Ella deserve it?”

There was the cincher, he thought. He was so used to getting what he wanted with little effort and work. He was now face to face with what he had to do, he had to put in the right kind of work.

-Vixen-

“Very good Ella, I’m so proud of you. You read that so well.”

She smiled widely and clapped her hands excitedly. You ruffled her soft curls then kissed her forehead.

“Mama, I sweepy.”

“Okay, let’s get the little princess to bed.” You stood, lifted her and carried her to her bedroom while softly singing her favorite lullaby.

“Smile, though your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by. If you smile through your fears and sorrow. Smile and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun come shining through. If you just smile.”

By the time you made it to her bedroom, she was half asleep. You tucked her in and finished the lullaby while tracing gentle patterns on her scalp. It always did the trick and within a few minutes she was out like a light. You sat there for a few minutes more and just watched her sleep. When you felt like your tears would start you hopped in the shower and allowed it to clam your mind.

You still had some work to do so you wrapped in your robe after your post-shower ritual and went down to your office and got lost in work. You didn’t know how long you were in there sipping wine and working but when you looked up you heard muffled voices. You stood and slowly walked down the hall. As you got closer you could make out whose voices you were hearing; your mother, Nexus and Chris.

“I’m very sorry Mrs. Giovanni. There are no words or excuses I can give, and I am ashamed of my actions. I can assure you what I did was not an act of maliciousness or manipulation. I hope with time I can show you how sorry I am and earn your forgiveness,” he said.

For a few seconds, there were no words, and you were sure that they’d fallen for it. How could they not? He was respectful, sounded sincere, charming and was laying it on thick as fuck. Then your mother spoke.

“Chris, when I first met you I saw the kind of man you were through your eyes. I know you’re a good man, with good intentions. I know you love Ella and would do anything for her and Vixen. I have no doubt that this wasn’t malicious and I know you didn’t mean any harm.”

“That doesn’t change that there was harm done, a lot of harm,” Nexus added. You slyly peeped around the corner and saw Nexus leaning on the wall with her arms crossed before her, she was the furthest from him. she was not happy. your mother, on the other hand, looked neutral.

“You’re right I did cause harm.”

“Chris, I know that you know what you did. I just don’t know why you did it. I don’t get it and you know what I don’t know if I want to get it. I believed in you, I was rooting for you and I kind of feel responsible for the pain my sister is in. She didn’t deserve to find any of this out through a tabloid show,” Nexus shouted with as low of a whisper as she could manage. You could tell she was angry.

“You’re right, she didn’t deserve this, any of it. I’m sorry. I just—I want a chance to explain to her. I need to say some things to her.”

You’d heard enough. Coming around the corner your mother was the first to see you.

“Get out. There is nothing here for you,” you blurted out and you hoped you sounded believable.

“Vixen, stop it,” your mother interrupted coming up to you. “The least you can do is hear him out.” Your jaw dropped.

“The least? Excuse me?”

“Vixen, this isn’t something that happened to you. You were at the altar with him, you married him the same way he married you. Yes, he wasn’t forthcoming about the status of that marriage, but your life isn’t about you anymore. You have a daughter, a little girl who will be affected by this. She is already affected. She asks for him. She deserves the two of you to get it together.”

You were speechless. You had no idea she had it in her to be so bold about this. You also hated that she was right. Ella did deserve normalcy. Sighing you cross your arms and roll your eyes.

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?” Nexus approached you giving you an inquisitive look. You nodded assuring her you knew what you were doing although you had no idea what you were doing. “Okay. Just holler if you need me.” She gave you a quick hug and walked away with your mother trailing behind you.

You didn’t look at him, instead, you walked away to the kitchen. You could feel him following you. Once you walked in you made a beeline for the freezer and took out the tequila bottle then filled a glass. You could feel his eyes on you, he didn’t speak, and you were quickly getting annoyed.

“You better start because I didn’t fuck up.”

“You’re right, I fucked up,” Chris admitted.

“No shit! You lied to me, Chris. For weeks. You orchestrated everything on the basis of that lie.”

He rounded the island attempting to get closer. You evaded him and walked around to the opposite side. He stopped and raised his hands in the air. “That’s not true. Not entirely. When Sherman told me about the error and that we were still married I didn’t know what to think or do. I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared to tell you. I thought you'd insist we file and end things.”

Pulling the glass from your lips you gulped down the liquid more quickly than you should have and felt the intensified burn. “So what! That is a stupid reason, Chris. That doesn’t matter,” you lashed out.

“Of course it matters. I didn't want to lose you again!”

The admission had you frozen just staring at him across the island. The words were pretty, but they were said to cover an ugly lie. You closed your eyes and refilled your glass and took another out to fill it. You then slide it across the island to him. There were almost two full minutes of silence. The two of you just sipped your drinks, well he sipped, you gulped. Then he spoke.

“I’d spent months, years regretting how everything went down three years ago. Spent so many nights sitting up with a glass like this one just watching the ghosts of memories all around me. I spent so much time wishing I'd done things differently, wishing things had ended up differently. Then out of nowhere there you were and the minute I saw you everything I felt three years ago came back, everything I'd been trying to bury for three years came right back.”

“None of this matters. You lied to me! You used this lie to your advantage. None of it was real. None of it was true.”

The words stung you even more. The realization that this was reality, that everything over the last few weeks wasn’t anything real. You felt the tears and you tried so hard to keep it in.

“That's a lie and you know it Vixen.”

He raised his voice at that point. Realizing his tone, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and slowly blew it out. You took another gulp.

“This is what I know.” Another swig of tequila burned your throat before you spoke.

“You said the worst shit to me three years ago, made me feel like a modern day prostitute, like I was only worth what was between my legs; like that was all I was good for. That fucked me up, it fucked with me for years. Had me second guessing my worth, my value to a man, to you. So I got the hell out of there. Did I regret it? Sometimes, but for the most part no. Then I found out about Ella and I could have told you, I could have tracked you down, but I didn't. I was scared I didn't want to let you anywhere near again so you’d hurt me all over again. Part of me did want to stick it to you for what you did. I can be honest here and now. Then three years later you show up and you're charming and kind and everything you were three years ago, everything that I--then you kiss me and bring me to that lake and we--then San Francisco. You had so many chances to tell me the truth. You didn't.”

“I should have. I tried to so many times. I tried the night you met my family, tried in the pool, tried the night in the backyard in Boston, I tried, and I did but you were asleep when I said it in San Francisco. Jesus Christ, I tried Vixen.”

“Not hard enough. What you wanted one more romp in the hay to see if it was like old times?”

Again, Chris walked around the island to you. You backed up to the oversized fridge holding your arms out trying to keep him at bay. He ignored your hands and still approached, closing in. Walking away you were hoping to create distance between you, but he followed you.

“What's not fair is you keeping this from me. Something that was important that mattered and I know I did the same thing so don’t pull that.

“I wanted time to show you how perfect we were for each other, for you to see that maybe things were the way they should have always been. God Vixen I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never felt the things I feel for you, I never thought I could, but I do.”

The tears were steadily approaching, your breakdown was coming. “You feel nothing it was an illusion; it was the sex.” You attempted to walk away again but Chris’ hand wrapped around your arm pulling you back to him.

“I've been in love with you from the night I married you. I didn’t know it then; I didn’t know it until I saw you again. When I looked in your eyes and had you in front of me I knew exactly how I felt and seeing you with Ella--our daughter only made me fall more in love with you. You are such an amazing mother, such a kind person with a good heart. You are so damn ambitious and determined. I love that about you, love how genuine you are and how you have an incredible work ethic one that shows the kind of person you are. This was never about sex for me Vixen. It started with Ella, but it didn’t take long for me to realize I didn't just want her, I wanted you. I want to build a life with you and Ella, be by your side as you shatter that glass ceiling you are so damn close to shattering. I want to be your biggest fan and supporter, I want to grow with you, build something others could only dream of. I want to see you every morning, go to sleep beside you after tucking Ella in, I want family vacations, princess dress-up parties, trips to the lake, birthday parties, a family, brothers, and sisters for Ella. I--I want you Vixen. I love you.”

Everything froze. He’d said the words. You thought you’d wanted to hear these words, thought if only he felt this way things would be so much easier. Now here they were. You thought you’d be happy or feel some sort of excitement but the only thing you felt was fear. You were filled with an abundance of fear, so much fear you couldn’t speak for several long moments. He stood there waiting for you to respond and each second that passed he looked as if he were unraveling.

“I want to love you, Vix. Let me.” His voice was pleading, as were his eyes, it was like he was begging you. When his lips dropped to yours the only thing your body did was kiss him back with as much passion and desire that he kissed you. He pulled you closer to him and the heat from his body had you pressing against him trying to savor it. A moan escaped you then one came from him. In a matter of seconds, the kiss was quickly getting out of hand. You were getting lost in the moment despite your common sense. You were the one to pull away.

“Until the day you wake up and want something else or don't want me anymore. The day you've finally gotten me out your system.” Your tears finally won as you expressed your deepest fear concerning him. Pressing your forehead to his chest you accepted defeat and cried allowing your fears and sorrow to seep out of every pore. You’d suppressed this cry because you feared you would never be able to stop.

Somehow, you found your voice for words. “Chris I barely put myself back together last time. I have no idea how I did it, no idea how my heart healed I--I can't.”

Somehow you got the words out through your tears. Somehow you were able to speak. You were scared to look at him, but you chanced it and immediately regretted it. Chris looked hurt. There was visible pain on his face and shining through his eyes. That only made you cry more. You put your forehead onto his chest again and breathed him in. When you felt his forehead on the top of your head you sobbed.

“Right.”

“I swear I won’t stand in the way of you getting to be there for Ella. I promise I won’t be that woman. We will work something out that you can see her when you want. I just--.” Unable to finish you walked away toward your bag.

“So you don’t want me?”

“Chris--.” The question was blatant. You couldn’t lie about it. You also couldn’t say anything. The terror in you was at its peak and the truth was you were too scared.

“You don’t feel what I feel?” You could feel him behind you. You wanted to turn to him and stare in his eyes but you knew if you did you couldn’t get through this. You were barely making it now. You reached into your purse and took out the folded papers.

“Tell me Vixen. There is no way that you feel nothing; no way that all this time we’ve spent together, after everything we’ve done together meant nothing.”

You try to keep a straight face, one that was arid of emotion that could give any indication just how much you were dying inside. The outward signs of that agony were your tears that continued to roll down your cheeks.

Taking a deep breath, you pressed the papers to his chest. Debating inside yourself you kept your hand on them—on him. This was yet another time a war was being waged within you, brain, reality, freedom, safety, or heart, dreamland, complication, risk. Maybe you had a lot more of this gypsy spirit your mother spoke about, you thought.

“I'm not strong enough, or brave enough. This won't end well.”

After a long hesitation and endless internal debate, you pulled your hand away from his chest just as he gripped the papers. You still didn’t know if you were doing the right thing from your heart or from fear. Unable to look at him anymore you slinked past him and down the hall. You had no idea how you did it so gracefully, especially considering how shaky your legs were.

-Chris-

He couldn’t believe his eyes. The force of his realization of seeing this knocked the wind out of his lungs. He could hear the blood pumping in his ears, hear his heart pounding so loudly that there was no other sound that he heard. Divorce papers—signed divorce papers. He gripped the side of the island hoping to steady himself. More hurt than he’d ever felt in his life bombarded him. His hyperventilating came on quickly and impacted his other senses, his vision, his breathing, his scent, even his touch. This was his worse nightmare, the worst outcome.

“It’s over. She doesn’t want me.”

Acknowledging that out loud felt like ripping his heart out. It had been so long since he’d felt pain like this, it dated as far back as his childhood. Even then did not compare to now. He didn’t know how long he stood there, didn’t know if he could move, or speak for that matter. When he finally did move his limbs felt heavy as if he had fifty pounds of lead in his body. He couldn’t think but he sure felt everything. Digging in his pocket he took out his pen and pressed it to the paper on the island right next to the blank line for him. He wavered for a few moments but shook off the hesitation and signed his name on the line next to yours. Once complete he got the hell out there sparing not even a second to look back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #Chris Evans X black reader

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meltingheartsandcores · 4 years ago

Text

This is a wangxian Yoi au, or it was going to be, I wrote the first chapter. Then realized I don’t know how to write skating, I don’t know anything about figure skating, and I feel like I should not be flying blind in this. Also, creativity got fried. Which sucks.

But, I figured you might enjoy reading the first chapter, and idk if it's because i wrote it but I find it's fine to read on it's own.

Story under the cut, I do hope you enjoy.

“Huaisang, why are you calling me at midnight?”

“Excuse you, it’s one am. And you didn’t respond to my text. Check your messages and watch the link I sent you.”

“Fuck no.” Despite Wei Wuxian’s words, he grabs his computer off his bedside table and sits up, “What’s the video called?” Wei Wuxian asks as he pulls up youtube.

”Uhhh,” there was some tapping, ”okay, english is Lan Wangji attempts Wei Wuxian’s Confusion.”

The name made Wei Wuxian perk up as he quickly types and searchs for the video. “Why didn’t you just tell me it was Lan Zhan?” He wouldn’t have grumbled.

”Just watch!” Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes at Nie Huaisang’s excitement but plays the video, muted because Jiang Cheng will kill him for waking him up at midnight. Wei Wei Wuxian was pleasantly surprised throughout the whole video, and also curious as to when Lan Zhan learnt it so completely. It had been his freestyle at Worlds two nights before, the one that earned him gold, again. He had changed it to work with his current condition and still earn him gold, but that just meant it was more complicated stepping he had perfected and a bunch of quads- not nearly as much as he normally did but, enough. Lan Zhan had changed his quads to triples.

Wei Wuxian could only point out one mistake. He rewatches it to see if there are any others. They’re aren’t.

“He fucked up one of the salchows.” Wei Wuxian states, watching the video for a third time. That was generous, he wobbled a bit too much on the landing. Madam Yu would’ve called it a complete fuckup and made him redo the entire program. For a practice it wasn’t bad, especially since Lan Zhan seemed distracted still.

Nie Huaisang groans on the phone, ”That’s all you have to say?”

“Hey. He’s the one who didn’t call me.”

”And now he’s dancing your stupid love letter!”

“It was not-“ Wei Wuxian is stopped by a pillow hitting his face, falling back onto his bed. “I have to go, I woke Jiang Cheng.”

Nie Huaisang giggles and hangs up with a singsong, “Good Luck!”

Wei Wuxian sits back up, chucking the pillow back onto Jiang Cheng’s bed. The lump that is his brother doesn’t move. Just an angry grumbled, “Get the fuck out of the room if you’re going to be awake.”

Wei Wuxian could go back to sleep, but he’s more interested in Lan Zhan right now. So he shuts his laptop, pulls on a jacket, and leaves the room with his phone in his pocket and his laptop under his arm in his fluffy bunny slippers. He goes down to the airport and sits at his gate, opening hs laptop back up to watch the video again. They were flying out to Italy in five hours. Well. wei Wuxian and Uncle Jiang were, Jiejie and Jiang Cheng were flying back to Canada in ten. Jiang Cheng had made their room decisions because if Wei Wuxian and Uncle Jiang shared they would’ve left without saying goodbye. In Wei Wuxian’s opinion, it’d be better to say goodbye before they went to sleep instead of waking everyone up at six in the morning, but he was promptly told to shut up.

Wei Wuxian calls Nie Huaisang back as the video plays, it’s impressive. And Wei Wuxian has always loved Lan Zhan’s skating. It made the Grand Prix all the more odd.

”It’s a love letter.” Nie Huaisang says in lieu of a greeting.

“It was not a love letter.” Nie Huaisang made a doubtful sound. “It was a letter of why the fuck did you never call me? I gave you my personal number and whitelisted you. Why did you never contact me?”

“So… an unrequited loveletter.”

“Why am I friends with you?”

”Because I helped you shave off Lan Qiren’s awful goatee.”

Wei Wuxian chuckles at the memory, Teacher Lan had been so pissed. “Hey… do you think he has any relation to Lan Zhan?”

”I do blackmail, not familial relations. If I did, you wouldn’t have spent five years calling Xiao Xingchen Jiujiu as a joke only to find out it was very appropriate.”

Ah, yes, the most awkward celebratory dinner in Wei Wuxian’s life with his uncle and grandmother.

“You and I both know I called him Jiujiu because I forgot his name and it was the first thing that came to mind.” Nie Huaisang cackles, fully aware that when Wei Wuxian forgot peoples names, if he didn’t hate them, he immediately went to familial relations.

It’s how Nie Huaisang’s older brother is forever Da-ge to Wei Wuxian. And how half his competitors are variations of cousin and uncle. Those that don’t speak chinese are typically confused but assume it’s a nickname until someone (Jiang Cheng typically) tells them they are now the son of Wei Wuxian’s father’s brother. Or something of the like. Those that speak chinese typically return the favour. For example, Xingchen called him Wai Sheng as often as Wei Wuxian would call him Jiujiu.

”Yup. And then you finally met your grandmother. Hands down, best World Champions I’ve ever been to.”

“Oh fuck you. Are you going to Italy?”

”Already here. I convinced Da Ge to fly me out right after the World Champs. I have been shopping for days. I love Italy.”

“You love that you can logic your way into drinking wine with every meal.”

”Mmhmm. You don’t normally participate in the Egna Spring Trophy. Why are you coming this year?”

“I like to shock people.” ’I don’t want my season to be over just yet. I don’t want to stop skating.’ “Can you keep a secret?”

”Of course. Did you put shaving cream in Jiang Cheng’s suitcase again?”

“No. He doesn’t let me anywhere near it anymore. I…”Wei Wuxian chickens out. He can’t say it. Not now. “Actually it might be better to say in person. Do you think the video’s a message?”

”What? Oh! Lan Wangji’s? Maybe? What message might he be sending?”

“That he still wants me to coach him next season?”

”You can’t coach someone and participate.” Nie Huaisang remarks. Wei Wuxian stays silent, normally his response would be ‘watch me’, but he can’t. Nie Huaisang gasps at Wei Wuxian’s extended silence. ”You can’t”.

“I’ll talk to you about it in Italy.”

”Have you told Coach Jiang?”

“No. Not Jiang Cheng or Shijie either. Don’t say anything. I’m still…”

”Yup. Got it. Lips are sealed.” Wei Wuxian sighs in relief, he’s not sure what he was worried about, but he’s grateful Nie Huaisang isn’t telling anyone. Not until Wei Wuxian says it himself. ”And, I guess the video could be a message. Maybe he lost your number? And it’s not like you told him you whitelisted him. Maybe he thought you were joking and didn’t want to risk rejection? I’ve asked Da ge but he told me to shut up and not bother him so…”

Oh right. Wei Wuxian forgot Da Ge was friends with Lan Zhan’s brother. “Meanie. But you know where he is right?”

“Yup. But Da Ge told me not to tell you. Didn’t want you bothering the Lan brothers or something.”

Wei Wuxian hums, “What a shame.” Nie Huaisang couldn’t tell him where Lan Zhan was. But, he could tell Wei Wuxian about Lan Zhan’s home.

”Mmhmm. There’s a wonderful hot spring in Gusu. As well as a cold spring that’s supposed to promote healing. I always find that afterwards, I’m too busy warming up to really care about any injuries.”

Wei Wuxian chuckles, Gusu huh? “Never heard of it.”

“No? It’s a rather small city. Not very well known. The hot spring I go to is called Hanshi.”

“...Frost Room?” Odd name for a hot spring.

”Mmhmm. I think it’s ironic or something? You know, a hot spring frost room? Who knows? We both know I didn’t ask.”

Wei Wuxian nods, “Mm. Maybe after Triglav I’ll pop over.”

”Making this season count I see.”

“I just want as many gold medals as possible. I’ll let you get some sleep. I am going to get started on coaching notes.”

”I’ll send you whatever videos I have of Lan Wangji. See you soon.”

“Mm.” Wei Wuxian hangs up and pulls up his note-app to start taking notes as he watches Lan Zhan’s video again. Noting places where Lan Zhan could do with improvement. There weren’t many, but Lan Zhan hadn’t focused his training in the same areas Wei Wuxian did. In some areas he was actually better at Wei Wuxian’s program than he was. Particularly with the stepping. More precise and fine-tuned than Wei Wuxian’s own. If Wei Wuxian had given Confusion to Lan Zhan he probably would’ve netted a higher score than Wei Wuxian. If he could land the quads at least.

_-3 weeks later-_

“Gusu is so nice. So warm. So not Canada.” Wuxan says to Nie Huaisang over the phone as he waits for the cab he arranged to pick him up from the airport.

Nie Huaisang’s laugh titters over the phone, “You’re not in Gusu yet. Gusu is a mountain city.”

“Ah, so the temperature will be back to normal. Good.”

”Tell Xichen-ge hi. I did not warn them you were coming, so, have a fun surprise!”

Wei Wuxian laughs, “I will. How’s Da ge?”

”Very annoyed that I told you where they live. And not accepting the fact that I didn’t tell you where they lived. I told you of a wonderful hot spring in Gusu and upon research you found it was owned by Lan Wangji’s brother. How can I be blamed?” Nie Huaisang actually seemed offended.

Wei Wuxian laughs at his friend. “Well, at least he’s not making you do hockey.” Nie Huaisang screeches, making Wei Wuxian laugh harder.

”He would never.”

“Didn’t he initially put you in hockey? Who’s to say he won’t put you back in?” It’s a joke, but Nie Huaisang is silent on the other end. And then Wei Wuxian can hear him running through his house.

”DAGE!” Wei Wuxian pulls his phone away at the yell, but puts it back once the yell is over to hear whatever else Nie Huaisang says. There’s some muttering that Wei Wuxian assumes belongs to Da ge.”You wouldn’t put me in hockey, right? Even if I fail Ice Dance?” There’s complete silence on the other end. But Da ge must’ve said something, or made a certain expression because Nie Huaisang screeches, offended and scared, “Da Ge!” Wei Wuxian laughs at his friends' misery and offence. He always feels a little bad for Da ge at events since he’s typically the only hockey player there and very few figure skaters bother to hide their dislike of hockey players. Typically it’s vice versa too, but when Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang go to Da ge’s games they tend to keep away from that subject. As much as possible. Except that one year one of Da ge’s teammates called Figure Skater’s prissy princesses and Wei Wuxian attacked him and had to be pulled off by Da ge.

He was fourteen. Nie Huaisang took a video.

Wei Wuxian stops laughing enough to notice his cab and met the driver, putting his phone in his pocket to drown out Nie Huaisang’s crying. After a quick chat, his luggage was put in the trunk and got in. He pulls out his phone and puts it back to his ear just as Nie Huaisang starts calling Da ge mean.

”How could you scare me like that?” Da ge was laughing in the background.

“Older brothers. It’s what we do best.”

”Meanie.” Was hissed at Wei Wuxian. More mumbling Wei Wuxian couldn’t make heads or tails of before Nie Huaisang speaks again, ” Da Ge wants to talk to you.”

“He’s not putting me in hockey is he?”

”Uhhh, da ge? Are you putting Wei-xiong in hockey?”

Da Ge was close enough to the phone Wei Wuxian could hear his reply, “Can I? He’d do damn good.”

“Don’t joke! I’m too fragile for hockey!” Wei Wuxian protests with a pout. “What did Da ge want to talk about?”

”Don’t harass Xichen and Wangji. If they tell you to go. Go. I don’t care what Wangji said at the Prix banquet, leave him alone if he wants to be left alone.” Da ge orders.

“Roger roger.”

“Wuxian.”

“I got it. I won’t bother them if they don’t want to be bothered. If he says no I’ll book a flight tomorrow and head home. Or to your place. Or to Xingchen’s. Bottom line I’ll leave if they want me to.” He won’t overstay his welcome.

”Good. Good luck.” With that, Da ge hangs up.

_-Gusu-_

“How was lessons?” Lan Xichen asks as Lan Wangji returns from the rink with Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi in tow. The five year olds loved skating. So when Lan Wangji returned from his complete failure at the Grand Prix, he had taken over their skating lessons at Cloud Recess at their insistence.

“They improved. How was business?” Lan Wangji asks as both kids run upstairs.

“Adequate. We have one guest currently. Actually, he asked for you by name.”

Oh. Great. “Did he say why?”

Lan Xichen shakes his head, he probably didn’t ask. “Just said to tell you. He also said if you don’t want to talk to him he’ll leave.”

Lan Wangji shakes his head, “No. I’ll talk to him.” He hopes it’s not a fan. Or one of Coach Zhong’s students come to ask him back in place of Coach. Lan Wangji just wanted to take care of his rabbits and ignore the world until his failure is forgotten. Lan Xichen smiles, probably remembering that just last month Lan Wangji told him he didn’t want to talk to anyone.

“Good. I’m going to make sure the tykes are not causing havoc upstairs, watch the front for me?” Lan Wangji nods at Lan Xichen’s request, allowing his brother to rush up the stairs.

Lan Wangji had just sat down at one of the tables, intent to get some work done. He was working with the library in Cloud Recess with translations, it didn’t pay well, but he enjoyed it and could do it in between helping Lan Xichen out at the Hanshi.

But before he could pull his laptop out, a guest came into the main room. Lan Wangji looks up to greet them but the words die on his tongue, eyes widening a fraction as he took in Wei Wuxian, half naked, with his hair in a towel. Well, he had a jacket on that wasn’t shut, so he wasn’t technically breaking the rule about being undressed outside the springs, but his incredibly toned chest was still on full display. Lan Wangji could feel his ears burning, and was very thankful he rarely blushes on his face.

A smile split across Wei Wuxian’s lips, “Lan Zhan.” ’What?’ “I wanted to talk to you.” Wei Wuxian falls to his knees on the opposite side of the table than Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji nods, although he was still stuck on ’Why is Wei Wuxian calling me by my given name? How does he even know it?’ Somehow Wei Wuxian’s smile got brighter. Which Lan Wangji felt was just unfair and rude. He’s trying not to panic here. “I want to coach you for next season.”

What.

Fuck trying not to panic.

What?

“Why?”

“I saw your video. Your stepping is very impressive. But you need to work on your jumps. Although you seem to learn quickly since you were able to learn Confusion in just a few days.” Lan Wangji would like this conversation to stop and rewind. What video?! He only danced Confusion once! And- oh fuck. Lan Jingyi is corrupting his perfect child. Wei Wuxian was still talking. Lan Wangji missed a portion. “-so I figured I’d come down to offer my services as coach.”

“Are you not competing next season?”

Wei Wuxian looks surprised, “Ah, I guess you don’t get much news out here.” Lan Wangji has been avoiding most skating news. He only watched the Worlds because Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui demanded it. “I’m taking a break. I’m twenty-three and have won every single competition I’ve been in for five years, got bored. And then I saw your video and decided I wanted to help you win the Grand Prix.”

What.

“What’s your current work out regime? I have some ideas but I don’t want to overwork you. Also, where’s the rink and can we schedule private time to practice?”

“Wei Wuxian-“

He cuts Lan Wangji off, waving his hand, “Call me Wei Ying.”

Okay.

“Wei Ying. You cannot take a break just to coach me.”

“Yes I can. But I didn’t. I was going to be taking a break this season anyways. If I hadn’t seen your video I might’ve let Da ge talk me into hockey.” Wei Ying shudders theatrically, “I’m too delicate for hockey.” Lan Wangji would disagree. Lan Xichen showed him the video of Wei Ying beating up a hockey player nearly twice his size. “If you don’t want me to coach you, I’ll leave. But if you do… I already have plans for your programs. And areas to improve.”

It was tempting. To accept the offer. Last year's Grand Prix had been Lan Wangji’s first venture into international competitions. He was used to national and local competitions. But after the complete failure of last years Grand Prix he wasn’t sure about returning to the international stage. However, Wei Ying had a lot of experience in the international stage. He’d been competing in International Competitions since he was thirteen. An entire decade.

Lan Wangji nods, “I accept.”

Wei Ying’s smile gets impossible bright. “Perfect.”

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ladyanatui · 5 years ago

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Daiken Ultimate Playlist, Pt. 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

This is the abridged version of my Spotify playlist for all things Daiken, organized from the start of 02 to…eventually.

Part 3 specifically covers from not long after XV-mon and Stingmon first Jogress-evolve through Christmas.

TRIGGER WARNING: This post discusses depression, suicide, emotional abuse, and PTSD quite a lot. Take care of yourself, folks!

Spotify Playlist

Click the song titles for YouTube links (apparently you can’t have more than five videos in a post), and otherwise, enjoy me rambling about Daiken.

One final note: Within the lyrics, I’ve emphasized meaningful words, such as night/nightmare, dark/darkness, miracle(s), kind/kindness, courage/bravery, friend/friendship, sun/star/light, fire/burn/ignite, angel(s), and words related to water/drowning.

“Carry On” by fun.

Though I've never been through hell like that I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone Or you're sinking like a stone Carry on May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground Carry on

And in the meantime, he knows that for Ken to feel better and move on, Ken needs to come to terms with his past while also not dwelling on it. Even by the end of the season, though, Ken still has a long way to go.

“Skin” Sixx:A.M.

When they start to judge you Show them your true colors And do unto others As you'd have done to you

Just rise above this Kill them with your kindness Ignorance is blindness They're the ones that stand to lose

One of Ken’s worst hangups about joining the team, though, is the fact that most of them still hesitate. Worst of all, Iori blatantly doesn’t want him there, though he does feel obligated to help Ken after Ken and Stingmon save his life. But Daisuke knows that as the others spend time with him and get to know him, they’ll love him just as much as he does.

“On My Own” by Ashes Remain

Every little thing that I've known Is everything I need to let go You're so much bigger than the world I have made So I surrender my soul I'm reaching out for your hope I lay my weapons down I'm ready for you now

And then, of course, there comes a time when Ken finally starts to come to terms with the fact that he can’t do this alone, that he needs their help and, more importantly, their friendship. This moment is difficult to pinpoint because it’s a slow process, but it’s probably right around episode 30 when Arachnemon creates BlackWarGreymon. Daisuke and Miyako trick him and Iori into working together in an attempt to get them to become friends, but the plan backfires when neither Ken nor Iori are fooled. But a few episodes later, by the time they’re defending the Holy Stones from BlackWarGreymon, Ken is working with the team.

And we can’t forget episode 35, where Daisuke invites Ken over for dinner to brainstorm about defeating BlackWarGreymon, and then suddenly it’s the next morning and Ken spent the night, which was definitely not part of the initial plan (they altered this in the English dub so that Daisuke asks him to spend the night after asking him over for dinner). The look on Ken’s face the following morning, when he wakes up to having spent the night at Daisuke’s home and watching their Digimon laugh and play together...it’s utterly heartwarming. He finally knows what it means to have a friend, and you couldn’t possibly find anyone more grateful.

“Doubt” by Twenty One Pilots

Temperature is dropping, temperature is dropping I'm not sure if I can see this ever stopping Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no You are all that I've got, no

But that’s not to say that Ken doesn’t continue to have doubts. There’s still a darkness in him he cannot shake, and he still struggles to believe he deserves to have friends, especially friends so wholly devoted and affectionate like Daisuke.

“Slip the Noose” by The Maine

Break down, hysteric and young Uncomfortably numb Then you sent my pain into oblivion I was on the verge of breaking down Then you came around And not a second too late

It’s pretty safe to say that, by this point, he understands how important Daisuke has become to him, even as he tried to prevent it. This song especially points to Daisuke helping him fight off his suicidal ideations (it’s all in the title).

“Anchor” by Skillet

When I get tired of finding All of the fears I've been hiding You gave me a breath and tell me to rest You never left

This is another song that focuses on the supportive nature of their friendship. Daisuke spends the entire second half of 02 being exactly who Ken needs him to be. He’s the supportive friend who isn’t afraid to tell him the awful truth if the moment calls for it.

And although it’s rarely talked about, Ken is also exactly who Daisuke needs in his life. Ken probably doesn’t realize how important he is to Daisuke, but the goggle boy seriously needed someone who actually listens to him, who respects him, and who loves him--and that’s exactly who Ken becomes as their friendship develops.

“All You Did Was Save My Life” by Our Lade Peace

I'm not dying All you did was save my life Pulled me out of that flat line Put the heartbeat back inside I'm not dying

And overall, it’s not an exaggeration to say that Daisuke legitimately saved Ken’s life. He was the one to activate the Digimental of Miracles, he (and Magnamon) was the one to defeat the Digimon Kaiser, he was the one to prevent Ken from potentially killing himself to stop his base from exploding, and he is constantly the one there to remind Ken of who he needs to be and what he needs to do to overcome his past.

“Picking Up Pieces” by Blue October

How long will I be picking up pieces? How long will I be picking up my heart?

Listen, I'll be as honest as I feel I feel like I'm getting more paranoid and I'm hearing things And they never turn out real It feels like my heart is made of pure steel It's just so heavy all the time

These things take time. Lots of time. To the point where it feels like it will go on forever. Despite the phenomenal progress he makes in 02, even by the end of the season, he still has a long way to go.

“Midnight Thoughts” by Set It Off

Here I am, 12 a.m. Sunken deep into my bed Kept alive by the light of the moon Close my eyes, but my mind's got its own plan tonight And it keeps rubbing salt in the wound

I know it's too late As night turns to day Now there's no escaping the ghost

Throughout this period, Ken is also suffering from nightmares--reminders of his past, including the moment the Dark Seed bored into the back of his neck and changed everything. I’m sure, to him, it feels like no matter how much he tries, he will never be able to move past the pain he’s caused the Digimon and Digital World.

“A Bad Dream” by Keane

I wake up, it's a bad dream No one on my side I was fighting But I just feel too tired to be fighting Guess I'm not the fighting kind Wouldn't mind it If you were by my side

First off, a big thank you to @molkschatz for introducing me to this song--it’s perfect for Ken.

Obviously, this song too references his nightmares, but it has far more to do with his loneliness and fear of losing himself than the actual bad dreams. Ken isn’t your typical fighter--he’s not courageous and spirited the way Daisuke and Taichi are, but he has a strong sense of justice and of right and wrong, which is really why it’s so important for him to help the Digimon and fight against evil. And although he may not be a tradition example of passion, he’s passionate in his own subtle way, and having Daisuke and the other Chosen by his side allows him to explore that side of himself.

“I Don’t Belong Here” by I Prevail

Looking back on the past, all the time I wasted Running from everyone that tells me that I'm fading out Must be mistaken 'cause I, I, I don't feel anything You know I got this brain, it drives me insane Some days I feel I can't take the pain, I'm gone I can't explain it 'cause I, I, I don't need anything (no)

Even as he learns to get along with all the Chosen, Ken struggles most with feeling like he doesn’t belong with the group. This is emphasized, of course, by the fact that he is the only one who doesn’t live in Odaiba, aside from Jyou.

This is most apparent in the Christmas episode where Ken has a holiday party and invites the group. He’s absolutely terrified to invite Iori because he assumes he won’t want to attend, but to his surprise, Iori has accepted him and is pleased he received an invitation because he didn’t expect one. Later, after they send the Digimon who ruined Yamato’s concert back to the Digital World, Ken has to go back to Tamachi and this adorable little exchange happens:

Sora: Ichijouji-kun sure has changed, hasn’t he? Hikari: He sure has. Daisuke: Really? I haven’t noticed anything...

While everyone else is still getting to know Ken as Ken and figuring out how he fits in the group, Daisuke has always seen him this way and has always felt like he belongs.

“Without You” by Breaking Benjamin

Say something new I have nothing left I can't face the dark without you There's nothing left to lose The fighting never ends I can't face the dark without you

There are so many moments throughout the show where Ken forces himself into situations where he is trying to deal with his problems on his own, facing the darkness on his own. But he quickly learns that he needs Daisuke and, to a lesser extent, the others there to help him, and more importantly, that having them fighting by his side doesn’t make him weak.

“Secret Smile” by Semisonic

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile And you use it only for me

I associate this song a lot with the Christmas episode because of how big of a deal everyone makes about his laughter but also the episode where Daisuke invites Ken over to his house and Ken just has the most beautiful peaceful smile on his face (mentioned earlier). The truth is that Ken is decidedly different around Daisuke than the rest of them. He’s more relaxed and happy, and once he starts calling Daisuke by his first name, he only does so privately. If other people are around, he still refers to him by his family name even as Daisuke calls him Ken all the time. Their relationship is precious and special, and calling him Daisuke publicly ruins the intimacy of it.

“An Act of Kindness” by Bastille

An act of kindness Is what you show to me It caught me by surprise in this town of glass and eyes Kindness, so many people pass me by But you warm me to my core and you left me wanting more

As the bearer of Crest of Kindness, it’s kind of a big deal for Ken to look at Daisuke and see all the wonderful and utterly kind things that he does. Extending his friendship when he had absolutely no reason to (don’t tell Dai that), defending him and helping him without any expectations in return--Daisuke shows Ken true friendship, and to Ken, that is the biggest act of kindness he ever could have performed.

And again, there’s a reference to Daisuke as a source of heat, much like the sun (plus, you know, the Crest/Digimental of Courage is associated with fire).

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

#daiken #daisuke motomiya #ken ichijouji #digimon #digimon 02 #playlist #trigger warning #suicide #emotional abuse #ptsd #depression #mental health #anatui

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clubmudkip · 4 years ago

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The final moments of Mixer - What happens at the end of all things?

There weren’t a lot of people online for Mixer’s final moments, and I feel like this should be documented somewhere. So here it is: what it was like to watch interactive livestreaming platform Mixer exhale its very last breath.

It was announced that Mixer would be shut down on July 22nd, 2020. So hundreds of users gathered to watch the few final streams. In the minutes leading up to 12:00 midnight PST, users watched a purple and orange confetti graphic fall from the banner at the top of the site, covering streams and chats in small circles. A celebration of the end, we waited for the clock to roll over. What does the End look like? What happens when a website ceases to exist? We all wanted to find out.

For the final hours I watched Mixer user Magiccake62 (now on Twitch under the same name!) stream her usual creative art stream; on this night she chose to make clay figures to celebrate the release of indie game Ooblets. From her hands sprang small birds, mushrooms, and frogs; all collectible creatures from the game. Finally she said, “What are they gonna do, BAN me?” and streamed a movie from her childhood. Fortunately for Maggiccake62, no copyright strikes were received, and she was able to continue until the movie’s end.

Midnight came, and then went. And it was uneventful. We were all still here. Streams were still running. I was confused, so I did what every person born into the Age of the Internet would do. I googled it. I found one single source. (https://dotesports.com/streaming/news/mixer-shutdown-reportedly-set-for-july-23-after-marketing-error) Gaming news website DotEsports was the only reporter of... a marketing error? Despite all official sources listing the 22nd as the true shutdown time, DotEsports insists the true shutdown to be 11am PST on the 23rd. Honestly, this is so on brand for Mixer, you wonderful garbage website.

So we laughed and shrugged, some of us kept streaming, but most of us went to bed.

I needed to see the End. What does it feel like when our provider provides no more? Where do you go when you are kicked out of your home? How often does a community simply cease to exist?

I set my alarm early. I woke up at 8:45 PST. Only a few streamers were active. Most were bots running pre-recorded content; facecams saying “Thank you and remember to follow me on Twitch.tv!”. Of the few active users, I saw gamers playing Miinecraft, Fortnite, and various first person shooters that I’m not familiar with. I saw one dude streaming porn (because what are they gonna do, BAN him?). Someone was doing a radio show entitled “Mixer’s Funeral” which featured a looping gif of Gibby from iCarly playing a trumpet in front of a coffin, accompanied by various ‘80’s popular music titles. At 9:00am PST Halo Infinite was announced; many users livestreamed their reaction to the title.

Around 10:00am PST I stumbled upon a co-stream hosted by users DigiDuncan, Gambiy23, and DB05 (all can be found on Twitch under those same names). Each streamer did their own thing; Gambiy23 streamed sitcom King of Queens right from Netflix (because what are they gonna... you know the rest), DigiDuncan scrolled through Mixer watching bits and pieces of others’ final streams, and DB05 watched Youtube poops. On a Discord call together, they wanted to stream until the very end. So this is where I stayed, tuning in and out of chat, laughing along at the long-forgotten sitcom. I got cozy, and waited.

At around 10:40am PST, Gambiy23 received a copyright strike from Mixer and was banned, ceasing the King of Queens stream. I guess even at the End of all things, there are still rules.

[First Screenshot] Knowing that the end was near, DB05 began playing a cutscene of the moon falling to the earth from Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. The building music made my heart pound. At 10:54am PST, Mixer pushed notifications reading “So long, and thanks for all the fish :)”, a quote mentioned before the planet Earth is demolished in order to make way for the hyperspace bypass, featured in the book series Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy written by Douglas Adams. When I hear this quote, I think of it as a goodbye to the universe itself; an acknowledgement of the many wonders one has experienced in their life; one last expression of gratuity for the world they inhabited and the gifts they received from it. It was fitting. Mixer, unafraid, gazed into the void and shouted a final “thank you”. At the same time as the push notifications, MixerBots spammed chats with emojis of goldfish, prompting users to do the same. We sent to chats our final “i love you’s”, “thank you’s”, sent emojis and encouragements, “goodbye’s” and “goodnight’s”. DigiDuncan scrolled through the front page of Mixer, and we watched the streams start to blink out, leaving a blue Mixer “X” logo in their place. The confetti showers returned. The site began to lag. Finally, the clock struck 11:00am PST.

And the moon fell.

For a few seconds, the streamers laughed. “Is that it?”, “Is it over?” DB05’s moon had fallen, and the cutscene continued to play. A brilliant flash of white, and Link awakens in the past. The streamers look on, “We’re still he-” Silence cut them off.

The voices of 10 million users, silenced in an instant.

I think we expect the End to be deafening, chaotic, and frightening. Like an Action/disaster movie, filled with explosions and screams and panic. But instead the End was peaceful. Quiet. Almost comforting. It was like sitting atop a hill in the morning before the birds start to sing, watching the sun rise over the horizon. Alone, yet serene.

[Second Screenshot/Third Screenshot] Almost immediately, I realized I could still click around the site. The confetti continued to fall. At 11:12am PST, I returned to the userpage of my friend. All the streams had ended, but the content was still there. User’s “About Me” pages were still active, along with all of their clips, previously recorded streams, and other things like “Stream rules”. I was able to watch the tail end of Magiccake62’s stream from the previous night. I scrolled through Mixer’s homepage, clicking on names to read their bios and watch the stored video clips. It felt like wandering through a neighborhood evacuated before a storm; no time to bring your possessions with you. Houses left unlocked, devoid of life and frozen in time.

[Fourth Screenshot] by 11:13am PST Chats still remained active as long as you did not navigate away from the page. I continued to talk with some of the users that had been watching the stream. Just a few remaining voices, alone in this huge, empty city.

[Fifth screenshot/Sixth Screenshot] As I continued to look through the abandoned homes, I caught the tail end of DMacAttack12’s pre-recorded finale stream from the previous night. He was playing indie game Celeste: Farewell. The main character, upon reaching the top of the mountain, experiences a dream where she sees a long dead friend. She apologizes to the friend for not attending the funeral, and the friend laughs. “The Funeral wasn’t for me. It was for all of you, stuck living on without me,” she chortled. The main character awakens from her dream, and takes the time to reconnect with her friends in the present. Perhaps Mixer’s last day was always meant to be that; not a goodbye, but a way to reconnect with each other.

[Seventh Screenshot] At 11:30am PST, the majority of the streams’ “offline” screencaps had vanished. Chats continued to function, but you could not join new ones. Trying to visit a new stream would result in the chat section loading forever. The voices were dwindling. As far as I could tell, it was just myself and DigiDuncan. We talked about the future and exchanged Twitch handles, and thanked each other for being here - at least we could watch this noiseless sunrise together. We wondered if we were truly alone, if anyone could hear us. We wondered how long this would last. How long did the two of us have, in the End?

[Eighth Screenshot] At 11:38am PST, chat function disconnected. I could no longer send messages to my new friend. Error messages began popping up in place of streams. DigiDuncan told me they were using chat via OBS, a client that helps you set up and organize your stream (I was just using in browser), so their world was completely different from the one that I was experiencing. I worried about DigiDuncan. I was forced out, and I don’t know if they were left to experience the End alone.

[Ninth Screenshot] At 12:10pm PST, All mixer URLs began returning this error message. The End was no longer a void, but a brilliant blinding white light. But as quickly as it came, it vanished.

[Tenth Screenshot] I returned to the Mixer homepage at 12:11pm PST to find it completely empty, but still stylized with the Mixer logo and signature blue backgrounds. The booming voice of the error message notifies me that something has gone wrong as the homes filled with memories I had been visiting vanish around me, leaving endless winding pavement streets and empty grass lots in their wake. What was once a bustling community was now nothing at all. Any presence of the people who once lived here, their culture, their love and their stories, had simply evaporated into the sunrise. With no other words or pictures to advertise streams, everything is quiet. It is peaceful. It is the End.

[Eleventh Screenshot] By 12:16pm PST, all Mixer URLs displayed a graphic of a blue robot with hearts for eyes. This continues to be the case at the time of posting. With no users and no staff, Mixer itself is Alone, yet serene. In this graphic, at the End of all things, Mixer sighs a final “thank you” to the diaspora.

Goodnight Mixer. So long and thanks for all the fun :)

#mixer #twitch

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hedwigencyclopaedia · 6 years ago

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David Bowie (Pt. 2)

“There’s old wave. There’s new wave. And then there’s David Bowie.” [1]

After his brief foray into “plastic soul” with 1975’s Young Americans, Bowie released Station to Station— the first in a string of albums heavily influenced by both contemporary German musical artists like Kraftwerk and Neu!, often referred to as krautrock, and German philosophers like Friedrich Nietzsche. [2] Bowie was no stranger to philosophical references in his work, having previously referenced Nietzsche’s works with “Oh! You Pretty Things,” “Quicksand,” and “Supermen,” all off of 1971’s Hunky Dory. [2, 3]

Station to Station introduced the Thin White Duke persona; a character he later referred to as “a nasty character for me.” It was during this era he made controversial comments referring to Hitler and had the infamous incident at Victoria Station that took what was meant as a wave at the gathered crowd and alleged it to instead be a Nazi salute. He had also been detained in Poland for having Nazi paraphernalia. [4]

Having picked up Iggy Pop on his Isolar Tour, David took a short break from producing his own music to help Pop produce his first solo album The Idiot (1977) and to an extent workshop the new sound he had wanted to explore. They headed to Switzerland to create the album with Iggy often “scribbling lyrics” while David and the other musicians worked at crafting the sound of the album. [1]

For Bowie’s next album, he picked up frequent collaborator and producer Tony Visconti as well as newcomer Brian Eno to work on the first of what would become known as the “Berlin Trilogy” or the “Berlin Triptych” in Low (1977). Although known as part of the Berlin Trilogy, work on Low started at the same Swiss chalet that had seen the creation of The Idiot. The move was partly inspired by Bowie’s larger goal to get himself and his friend off of their respective drug addictions and largely to give them both a new mindset away from the fame, fans, and record labels they faced in either the US or the UK. After its completion, Bowie sent a copy of Low to Nicolas Roeg with a note stating “This is what I wanted to do for the soundtrack,” referring to The Man Who Fell to Earth, the film they had completed the previous year and for which Bowie had initially been promised he’d be able to write the soundtrack. [1]

The release of Low was delayed by Bowie’s record label RCA not caring for half the album being instrumentals and the critical reception — what little there was due to a lack of promotion — was mixed to the point that over the years, it was referred to as almost entirely negatively received upon release. [5]

Bowie’s next album, “Heroes” (1977) expanded on the themes explored in Low, distilling and blending them into the next phase of his career. Recorded ‎at Hansa Studio, which overlooked the Berlin Wall, it loosely used the same format as Low with more accessible lyric songs on Side A and instrumentals making up the majority of the B side. Furthering the similarities, both albums featured use of the “cut-up technique” of writing in which an author takes a poem or written work and cuts it up, rearranging the pages to form an exquisite corpse. [1, 6] Where it differed was while Low’s lyrics were largely inspired by Bowie’s life and current troubles, “Heroes” was considered as a whole to be a less personally inspired project and heavily informed by the culture, history, and “essence” of Berlin. [1]

Bowie continued his experiments not only with sound techniques, but recording and writing styles with the final album in the Berlin Trilogy, Lodger (1979). In writing it, he used techniques such as having his band switch instruments to create a more “garage band” “just learning their instruments” feel for “Boys Keep Swinging,” playing chords from “All The Young Dudes” backwards to create new song “Move On,” reusing the musical track from Iggy Pop’s Sister Midnight, from Bowie-produced The Idiot for “Red Money,” and taking further inspiration from producer Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies cards, which Eno had introduced while he, Bowie, and Visconti worked on “Heroes.” [1]

Going into the 80s, Bowie was determined to have a hit record. [5] Despite previous fame and relative successes, Bowie wanted to not just be a hit artist; he wanted to be the hit artist. And with his divorce from Angela and his split from MainMan officially finalized, now was the time. The next album, Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) (1980), reached #1 on the UK charts going platinum [7] and #12 in the US. [8]

The follow up three years later, Let’s Dance (1983) outdid its predecessor, both reaching #1 in the charts and going platinum in both countries. [7, 9, 10] The supporting tour, the Serious Moonlight Tour had the distinction of selling out every one of the 96 shows and being one of the largest shows of the time. [11]

The two subsequent albums Tonight (1984) and Never Let Me Down (1987), offered diminishing returns in terms of chart performance [12, 13] and critical reception, with Bowie later disowning Never Let Me Down saying in 1995 “My nadir was Never Let Me Down. It was such an awful album. … I really shouldn’t have even bothered going into the studio to record it. In fact, when I play it, I wonder if I did sometimes” [13] and later in 2002 “There was a period when I was performing in front of these huge stadium crowds and at that time I was thinking 'what are these people doing here? Why did they come to see me? They should be seeing Phil Collins'…And then that came back at me and I thought 'What am I doing here?” [14]

In 1987, as part of the Glass Spider Tour, Bowie had one of the most profound experiences of his touring career while playing a stage that butted up to the Berlin Wall. The sound from the fans on the East side singing along was so loud that Bowie could hear it about the din of his own concert. Part of the concert lives on on YouTube as well as a clip of David’s speech in German addressing both sides of the Wall. The influence of this show was acknowledged by the German Foreign Office in 2016 after Bowie’s death with a tweet reading “Good-bye, David Bowie. You are now among #Heroes. Thank you for helping to bring down the #wall” and linking to a live performance of David performing the song. [15]

As the 80s came to a close, Bowie chose to take some time away from his solo career and formed the band Tin Machine with Reeves Gabrels, and the brothers Hunt and Tony Sales.

He married his second wife, Somali supermodel, philanthropist, and entrepreneur Iman, twice in 1992; the first in a private ceremony and the second in a lavish ceremony in Tuscany. According to David, he was already naming their future children the night he met her. [16] His next album Black Tie, White Noise (1993) was as much a wedding album as it was a reflection of the things currently going on in his life from being in LA when the Rodney King riots started to the death of his beloved half-brother Terry and was a distinct return to “eclecticism” over marketability. [17]

The nineties continued the theme of “eclecticism” with 1995’s Outside, an exploration into the budding industrial movement framed by a murder mystery in support of which he toured with alterative/industrial band Nine Inch Nails [18], 1997’s Earthling, which examined electronic music, and 1999’s hours… which while more conventionally mainstream than its two predecessors in tone, was less well received. [19]

Between albums, Bowie was expanding his horizons beyond his music and film careers such as 1997’s release of Bowie Bonds, an early return for him on future earnings that was presented as an opportunity for the bearer to receive a 7.9% return on their investment [20]; BowieNet, a dial-up internet service provider that also gave subscribers exclusive content and a BowieNet email address [21]; and Omikron: The Nomadic Soul, a futuristic video game that featured songs from ‘hours…’ and featured David and Iman’s voices and likenesses. [22]

Bowie also had started work on Toy which would become his first unreleased album since The Man Who Fell to Earth soundtrack had been scuttled in the mid-70s. Some of the tracks from Toy ended up on his next album, 2002’s Heathen. [23]

His last album before taking a ten year hiatus was Reality (2003) During the supporting tour, he had a lollipop thrown in his eye, (later memorialized in a self portrait) [24], and had the heart attack that stopped him from touring his own music outside of occasional guest appearances with other artists such as David Gilmour of Pink Floyd and at events such as Fashion Rocks in the US. His last live performance was at a benefit for Alicia Keys’ Keep a Child Alive campaign where the pair sang a duet of Bowie’s song “Changes.” [25]

In 2013, he ended his hiatus with the unexpected release of The Next Day, the cover art for which featured a large white box overtop of the iconic “Heroes” album cover. The same year, he partnered with the Victoria and Albert museum in London to exhibit the David Bowie Is collection that later that year began a world tour with stops in Chicago, Paris, the Netherlands, Melbourne, and ending at the Brooklyn Museum on July 15th. [26] A digitized version of the collection became viewable on January 8th 2019 with the David Bowie Is app with narration by Gary Oldman. [27]

Despite the album reaching #2 on the US charts [28] and #1 in the UK [29], producer Tony Visconti said that Bowie had no intention of touring the album [30], a comment that music magazine Pitchfork chose to run with to mean that Bowie would never tour again. [31] Regardless of the intent of the statement, Pitchfork ended up being correct in saying the Bowie would never tour again.

In 2017, Bowie’s long standing ambition of writing a musical was realized when Lazarus opened in New York. Following what happens after The Man Who Fell to Earth, the plot sees lead character Thomas Jerome Newton in the modern day having not significantly aged since the events of the original story. Its composition took inspiration more the original novel by Walter Tevis than from Bowie’s role in the 1976 film. [32]

Bowie’s last album was released January 8th 2016, two days before his death from terminal liver cancer. ★, pronounced “Blackstar” incorporated some of the new songs Bowie had written for Lazarus with originals. Recent successes, past fame, and his very current death made sure that Blackstar placed #1 in 24 different countries including the US, UK, and Germany. [33]

After his death, Bowie was honoured not only with fan memorials and tributes, but with official plaques in Berlin and around England noting places of “historic significance.” [34, 35]

[1] Bowie in Berlin by Thomas Jerome Seabrook. 2008.

[2] David Bowie and Philosophy by Theodore G. Ammon. 2016.

[3] http://loudwire.com/songs-inspired-by-german-philosopher-nietzsche/

[4] https://www.thedailybeast.com/on-race-david-bowie-delved-deep-into-the-darkness-and-came-back-human

[5] Starman by Paul Trunka. 2011. Advanced Galley.

[6] https://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2010/apr/13/construct-exquisite-corpse

[7] http://www.bowiewonderworld.com/faq.htm#m09a

[8] https://www.davidbowie.com/blog/2017/9/24/anciant-album-focus-scary-monsters

[9] https://www.riaa.com/gold-platinum/?tab_active=default-award&se=david+bowie#search_section

[10] https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/chart-beat/8457017/david-bowie-no-1-hot-100-1983-chart-rewind

[11] http://www.electricmud.ca/2018/david-bowie-toronto1983/

[12] https://www.billboard.com/music/david-bowie/chart-history/billboard-200

[13] https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/how-david-bowies-biggest-disappointment-became-a-posthumous-reworked-album-702189/

[14] David Bowie interviewed on Jonathan Ross, June 29th, 2002.

[15] https://twitter.com/GermanyDiplo/status/686498183669743616

[16] http://ultimateclassicrock.com/david-bowie-black-tie-white-noise/

[17] http://ultimateclassicrock.com/david-bowie-black-tie-white-noise/

[18] https://www.revolvermag.com/music/see-david-bowie-sing-hurt-nine-inch-nails-1995

[19] https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/881-hours/

[20] https://web.archive.org/web/20130620051917/http://www.commodityonline.com/news/david-bowie-bonds--ip-securitization-1896-3-1897.html

[21] https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jan/11/david-bowie-bowienet-isp-internet

[22] https://www.polygon.com/2016/1/11/10749686/david-bowie-omikron-nomad-soul-david-cage

[23] http://www.davidbowieworld.nl/mijn-bootlegs-2-2/bbc/attachment/david-bowie-toy/

[24] https://twitter.com/dark_shark/status/692853482512977921?lang=en

[25] https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/inside-david-bowies-final-years-237314/

[26] https://www.brooklynmuseum.org/exhibitions/davidbowieis

[27] https://www.davidbowie.com/blog/2019/1/8/david-bowie-is-virtual-launched-today

[28] https://www.billboard.com/music/david-bowie/chart-history/billboard-200/song/775880

[29] http://www.bowiewonderworld.com/features/thenextdaycharts.htm

[30] https://www.spin.com/2013/01/david-bowie-producer-the-next-day-album-details/

[31] https://twitter.com/Tonuspomus/status/289810690338856960

[32] https://lazarusmusical.com/about

[33] http://www.bowiewonderworld.com/features/blackstarcharts.htm

[34] https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/aug/22/david-bowie-berlin-plaque-commemorates-singers-time-in-city

[35]

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/jun/15/david-bowie-three-blue-plaques-bbc-music-day

General Resources:

https://www.davidbowie.com/about/

#david bowie #david bowie pt 2 #d

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idolizerp · 6 years ago

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LOADING INFORMATION ON SIGNAL’S LEAD VOCAL, LEAD DANCE SEOL DOWON...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 18 DEBUT AGE: N/A TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 16 COMPANY: KJH SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): wonnie, won mendes - a pun on shawn mendes, for being similarly scouted after going viral from a song cover posted online INSPIRATION: dowon has loved music his whole life, but never thought to pursue it as his career. on the record, he found atlas and became inspired to make music. off the record, he ended up changing his mind when his viral video reached the people at kjh and he thought he could actually have a future in this industry. SPECIAL TALENTS:

balancing anything on one finger - has balanced everything from a plate to a mic stand

abacus calculations

drawing caricatures

NOTABLE FACTS:

big xlnc fan

has an older sister and an older brother

ranked within the top ten of his grade every year in high school

wanted to be a prosecutor before he went into music

is allergic to cats

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

dowon is focused on becoming a capable producer. it’s not enough for him to provide a chord here and there and get a producing credit slapped onto a song for the sake of being a producer-dol; he wants to feel like he’s really earned it and built the song himself. he’s pretty much only ever done covers prior to joining kjh, though, so it’s proving to be difficult to learn.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

in the distant future, when signal has debuted, dowon wants them to be unique. this seems vague, but he already knows that the moment their teasers are released they’ll be relentlessly compared with atlas as producers, atlas as artists, atlas as performers and global sensations. he wants signal to be able to set themselves apart by having and maintaining a unique sound and establishing their own audience. he believes the music they’ve been working on as trainees is already working towards this, but ultimately the goal can’t be realized until after they’ve debuted and had a few comebacks. as for himself alone, he’d like to continue what he started online and produce solo work. when signal has established themselves as talented songwriters as well as performers, dowon wants to debut solo with music he loves that he’s written only for himself. he’d like that feeling of community he had with his youtube channel, but this time on a much bigger and grander scale.

IDOL IMAGE

dowon has eyes that crinkle when he smiles and a laugh that lights up a room, a pretty face and a pretty voice. he’s also got brains, not inherited but earned after years of being instructed that law school was his goal and the only possible goal. as such, kjh has given him the label of the beagle with a twist, as if being able to do quick mental math or remember who was the last king of baekje is something that exists outside of being playful and fun. being smart has somehow also boosted his image as a musician, as he comes off as someone who had the brains and means to pursue an academic path but opted instead to do music from the sheer passion for it. it’s not the worst image the company could have assigned to it, and dowon isn’t necessarily against it, but it is exhausting. during variety training he’s told he has to keep his energy up at all times and provide the other members with energy when they start to lose it. he’s also still stuck studying, even though he literally just graduated from high school in february, to keep the smart half of his image sharp and ready for whatever questions are thrown at him.

in spite of all that, the most difficult part of his image for dowon to maintain is being an atlas fan. after he got discovered through an atlas cover, kjh told him to amp it up and really milk that link between the brother groups. his backstory now includes an anecdote where he heard atlas playing in a convenience store one day and looked them up and listened to their entire discography and - suddenly! - fell in love with music and decided it had to be his future. except dowon actually doesn’t like atlas, has never liked atlas, and doubts he ever will like atlas. he made one video for the views, and while the results completely changed his life they also continue to haunt him as he has to pretend a spiritual connection to a group whose music he dislikes. he does balance it out by praising musicians he’s actually a fan of whenever he gets the chance, like xlnc and midnight and imperial, but he knows that if kjh’s strict image management has anything to say about it, atlas will be following him for a very long time.

IDOL HISTORY

seol dowon was dutifully enrolled in piano lessons at the age of six, as his parents and siblings had been before him. they cited studies that apparently showed that children benefited from a musical education, that their minds grew to be better primed for studying and creativity and retaining information. what was a little less expected was that dowon fell in love with music, with piano first then guitar and singing once he’d picked them up. whereas his older brother and sister both abandoned piano by the time they entered middle school, he kept at it, attending lessons three times a week.

music was never going to be his career, though, and dowon kept his focus on getting good grades and fulfilling his parents’ dreams of him going to law school. he kept music up as a hobby on the side, from performing at his school’s talent show to briefly starting a band with his friends. when he was about fifteen, though, he started up a youtube channel, posting videos of himself singing or playing guitar and toying with different arrangements of popular songs. initially it was just supposed to be a way to record some of the things he was doing in his spare time, and his parents sent his videos around to relatives who lived further away. but at some point he began gaining a modest following.

he started to earn money from youtube. nothing major, no big bucks, but when enough people sat through the ads on his videos he got a bit of pocket money. it was enough that he started thinking he should focus on how to expand his viewership and maybe get more money out of it, make youtube a side gig to boost the allowance his parents were giving him. until then he had only been releasing a video whenever he had enough muse to put one together, and he was only doing covers of songs he liked and was interested in, but he decided to set up a schedule where every other week he put out something based on a viewer’s request - comment below, and the comment with the most likes gets done next time. as he moved away from doing covers of western rock bands and began playing more popular kpop songs, some of his original subscribers left, but they were quickly replaced and overtaken with people who loved his new content, who fawned over his cute smile and sweet voice.

maybe it was inevitable, then, that some fans of atlas would request that he play one of their songs. to be honest, dowon really didn’t like atlas. their music didn’t vibe with him, and maybe more importantly, he didn’t think he could adapt it to his style well enough to do a cover. he put it off as long as he could, but eventually atlas’ blood, sweat and tears was the top comment. he thought about just ignoring it, doing the next highest rated comment, but wouldn’t covering one of the most popular kpop groups on earth be a surefire way to get views? he could put it out, get some more subscribers, and go back to working on music he actually liked. he put it together a little more haphazardly than his other covers and released it, knowing it wasn’t his best but hoping it would do its work.

it did, and more. the atlas fans who already followed him snatched it up and started sharing the video around until it caught on to the whole fandom. they began making up stories about him - that atlas had inspired him to make music, that he was trying to follow in their footsteps. people started subscribing in droves, sure, but then his comments became exclusively atlas requests. he regretted making that cover soon after it was posted.

when the hype died down, he received an email. kjh global creative was the company behind atlas, and they thought he had potential to be a future artist with them. would he come in for an audition? he lived in daegu, so getting to the company’s headquarters in seoul for a meeting meant convincing his parents to let him take the train on a saturday. they pushed back - how was he supposed to get into law school when he was taking precious time away from his studying at a critical point in his studies if he was jetting off to audition for music companies? he swore he just wanted to audition to see if he could get in - a harmless adventure, something that could make for a fun anecdote later. of course they asked him to come back for another audition a week later, and by now dowon had predictably become infatuated with the idea of making music his career. i mean, why not? he was already making some money from youtube, clearly there were people out there who wanted to hear him sing. he snuck off the following saturday for his second audition, was offered a contract, and broke the news over the phone. his parents insisted he should at least get into law school before he throws his future away; he refused, afraid that he might never get this kind of luck again. they said fine, you’re on your own, on one condition: keep your grades up and go to university. dowon moved into the trainee dorms and transferred to a seoul high school later that week.

he’s lasted over two years now, getting by with a small allowance from an uncle who took pity on him and occasionally picking up a job here or there for some extra cash. he had to delete most of his youtube videos when he signed with kjh, leaving up some of the more successful kpop covers and, of course, the atlas video. he was lucky enough to be put into the predebut group meant to follow in atlas’s footsteps, even if he still doesn’t like them all that much and is already resenting the “atlas’s little brothers” label. he really feels proud that signal is meant to be making their own music and has begun taking producing seriously as a venture, although since his experience is heavily based on just playing with different arrangements and making covers, writing original music is proving more difficult than he originally thought. but even though kjh wanted them to be known as producer-dols, they still wanted signal to have strong focus on dance that will rival other boy groups. having no background in dancing means dowon spends long nights in the studio, working himself for hours to memorize choreography and build up the stamina to be able to sing while dancing his heart out. he’s come a long way from when he first joined the company, thanks to the long hours he’s put into focusing on dance and the post-practice endorphins he’s grown to crave. most of all, he wants signal to define itself as separate from atlas - not atlas 2.0, but a group that has their own sound and style. at the moment, though, he’s got a feeling they’ll be stuck waiting for a while - kjh unexpectedly got a girl group under their wing, meaning the boys will have to take the backseat for now. dowon only hopes they’ll get their chance soon so he’ll finally be able to prove himself.

#id.bio #id.kjh #id.signal #id.na jaemin #id.overthrow

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huffletiika · 6 years ago

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Back then when we met

Don’t kill me? okay, but I just wrote this and I HAD TO share it. So, I guess you all remember my figure skating AU for Lutteo Ficweek, right? well, if not, I will leave it for you to read over HERE because this is a prequel to that fic. This is dedicated again to my FS squad @silveranchor and @from-red-string ... and, of course @deliverychicafresa this is also dedicated for you. I hope you like it as much as I do.

Btw, what is proofread? I don’t know her.

Matteo was late for his practice with Juliana and Ambar.

He was never late.

But, last night, some amazing melody came to his mind while he was about to go to bed, and he had to write it down at that moment, or it would be long gone by the time he woken up. Needless to say, when he finally went to sleep, it was very late, so waking up at 5 in the morning to be at the rink by 6 became impossible. Now, it was 20 past 6, and he was sure as hell both women were about to kill him.

“You’re late”, those were the words his trainer gave him when he took off the blade covers and skated into the rink.

“I’m sorry, I overslept”, he answered with a yawn, and his skating partner frowned in his direction without saying a word. She had a murderous stare, though. “something kept me awake last night”, he added, when he didn’t get any reply.

Ambar rolled her eyes.

“Another of your stupid songs?” she asked, bitterly, as Juliana skated to the corner of the rink to give them space.

“Ambar…” he tried to explain himself.

“What?” she skated towards him. “I don’t get why you would waste so much of your time on that, when the season is about to start, and we still have a couple of lifts from our free program that we have to polish”, she put her hands on her hips. “I mean, is not like you are planning on sending your demos to a label, or something.”

Matteo sighed and looked away.

Yes, she was right. He had thought about doing that, about making an EP with some of his songs and sending copies around, see if they are good enough for him to deserve a producer. But he is afraid of being rejected, so he sticks in what he knows best: he is a professional skater, an Olympic silver medalist, there’s no time in his life for that kind of things.

They both are royalty on the ice, after all.

“Ok, you two… I have a training session with a new girl scheduled at 8, so stop talking and start skating, because thanks to sleeping beauty we only have half an hour for this session”, their trainer told them, before playing their music.

Was it his girlfriend looking disgusted at the mention of the other skater? He doesn’t get the reason why she would do such thing. Besides them, there are many talented skaters who train with Juliana: Jim for female singles, Ramiro and Gastón for male singles, and Pedro and Delfina for pairs, and the blonde never showed that level of annoyance towards any of them.

Well, maybe a little to Jim, but it was more something like boredom.

Despite everything, the training went pretty good, they got to improve their step sequences, and Juliana congratulated them about their twizzles and lifts.

They were almost ready for their first competition of the season.

Matteo walked into the dressing room and started taking off his skates. Ambar was walking right behind him, but something must have stopped her, as when he took off the first boot she was still nowhere to be seen.

He yawned.

The midnight writing sessions had to stop, or he won’t be able to keep up with the next months of competition.

Matteo was closing his locker when something… or, to be precise, someone, stormed into the room like a fireball. It was a girl around his age, a little bit younger possibly, her brown hair was full of locks that fell around her face like waterfalls, and her body was so petit he was sure he could lift her without even putting any effort.

She was cute.

Yes, that’s the best word to describe her.

He tried to move out of her way when he saw her coming, but the lockers wouldn’t allow him, so she ended up crashing against his chest.

With his hands on her waist he prevented her from falling to the ground, keeping her standing, and for a second there he felt like time stopped passing, because her eyes met his, and that was the most beautiful shade of green he had ever seen.

She seemed to be a victim of the same spell, because only after a few seconds of them looking directly into each other’s eyes, she stepped back and put distance between their bodies.

“I… I’m sorry”, she said, blushing.

A cocky smile appeared on his lips.

“It’s okay, girls are always falling into my arms”, he replied, causing the soft pink that was covering her cheeks transform into a fierce tone of red.

She nervously looked away, but didn’t say a word.

“You have to be the new skater Juliana will train”, Matteo spoke, leaning against his locker. She looked back at him, and nodded. “Well, if I was you I would put my skates, and very fast. You don’t want to be late for your first session ever.”

She looked the time on the screen of her phone, and a high-pitched sound came out of her mouth, before pushing him out of her way to the bench, and starting to put her skates on as fast as if she was in a marathon.

He giggled, as he looked at her with amusement.

She didn’t seem to notice he was still there, until she finished putting her skates on, and when she did she frowned in his direction.

“You are still here”, she said, putting her backpack inside an empty locker.

“How could I leave without knowing your name?” he asked, pretending to be utterly offended. “I mean, I saved you from falling to the ground, I deserve that at least.”

The girl rolled her eyes.

“I wouldn’t have been in risk of falling if you weren’t on the way”, she replied, stubborn. A wide grin appeared on his lips, as he got closer to her. Oh, he was going to have the time of his life bothering the new girl.

“You crash into me and then blame me?” he takes his hand to his chest.

She sighs.

“Look, Balsano. I don’t have time for this”, she said, looking at him with desperation. “Juliana will kill me if I don’t go to the rink like right now, it’s my first session, I don’t want to give a bad first impression to my new trainer,” she begged.

“So, you can know my name, but I can’t know yours?” he frowned.

“Is there someone from figure skating world who doesn’t know your name?” she asked, sarcastically, and the cocky smile re-appeared on his lips.

Her words inflated his ego.

“Touché”, he replied, and was about to ask her name again, when his skating partner, slash girlfriend, entered to the room.

“Hurry up, Lunita! Juliana is waiting for you”, the blonde said to the other girl, and then went directly to give him a peck on his lips, something that she doesn’t usually do. “Thanks for waiting for me, Babe”, she said, with a condescending smile and a honeyed tone. “I see you and my little cousin have met already... I hope you weren’t bothering her, were you?”, she added, and he knew her well enough to know she was faking her concern.

So both girls were related.

He didn’t see that coming, specially because they couldn’t be more different.

The brunette shook her head. “No, he wasn’t. We were just… talking”, she tried to explain, and he couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“I was just introducing myself”, he explained, with a shrug. “and telling Luna I’m around, in case she needs help with anything”, he winked with the eye his girlfriend couldn’t see, and pleasantly smiled when he saw her nervously look away.

“Don’t be a fool, Matteo, she has me”, that fake friendly tone in Ambar’s voice made him very curious. “and there’s also people who gets paid to do so…”

He was about to say he was only trying to be friendly, but Luna’s voice interrupted him. “I need to go”, she said, leaving the room as fast as possible.

He looked at her back until she disappeared from his field of vision.

It was Gastón who told him the whole story.

His best friend has this like sixth sense to be able to know what’s happening around, even before Jazmin, who is the owner of the most known gossip blog in the vicinity of the club. Just imagine if they joined forces. But, luckily for everyone’s privacy, the singles’ skater wants nothing to do with gossip sites.

And before anyone asked him why he didn’t ask his girlfriend, he did, she just gave him the vaguest answer ever.

The girl, Luna, comes from México. She is Ambar’s godmother’s long-lost niece, who everyone thought was dead, after a fire that happened in their home many years ago. Her real name is Sol, but she grew up as Luna her whole life, so she wasn’t going to change it. The girl participated in many junior tournaments to the date, he even saw some videos in YouTube (Gastón sent him the links, unlike his best friend he is not a stalker), and she is really talented. But, the lack of sponsorship and support from her country’s delegation haven’t let her become well known in this world, so it’s understandable he didn’t know a thing about her before the present days.

Her grandfather was the one who suggested her to move to Buenos Aires with her adoptive parents after finding her in México, the details about how he did so are still a mystery for his source, and then talked with Juliana to grant her a spot at the club to train with her, just like Ambar has done for years.

His girlfriend wasn’t very happy about it, that he could see.

He’s sitting at the benches next to the rink, Gastón by his side watching some funny cat videos in his phone, while his attention is on her skating on the ice. She is amazing. A proud smile danced on his lips as he saw her do her spirals. They were perfect, like the ISU should use her as an example of how doing that element correctly, and her flexibility is something he hasn’t seen in any female skater in a while.

“Are you still with me, or I lost you at the moon?” his best friend took him out of his thoughts, and so he had to look away from the girl to look back at him. He didn’t like the grin he saw on his mouth.

“I don’t know what you mean”, he does.

Gastón shook his head.

“Go and talk to her”, he said, ignoring his words. “It’s been weeks since she started training here, and the only thing you do is staring at her like a creepy creep creep. It makes me uncomfortable”

“I have a girlfriend”, he reminded him, and Gastón rolled his eyes.

“So, what?” he asked, and Matteo’s only reply was a frown. “Look, I’m not telling you to go make out with the girl in the middle of the rink”, he continued. “I just want you to go there and talk to her, show her how charming you can be, and stop ignoring me while I’m trying to show you the greatest cat videos ever.”

Matteo sighed, still not capable to stand and skate towards the girl.

“She will ignore me, anyway”, he explained to his friend. “She usually does”, he added.

He has been trying to talk to her many times, but she always ignores him, or make up any excuse to leave as fast as possible.

The Italian couldn’t understand such behavior from the girl.

“Then I should thank her for showing you how it feels”, Gastón said, standing up. “Anyway, I have to leave, my virtual class is about to start, so I’ll let you admire the moon in peace”, he told him, with a grin. “Please, don’t flood the rink with your drool, everyone here needs the ice to be in perfect conditions.”

Sadly, his best friend ran so fast the water bottle didn’t get to hit his back.

With a soft sight, he looked back at the ice, and there she was skating, totally unaware about the fact she was the topic of discussion between him and his best friend.

He stood up and took a deep breath, maybe his best friend was right, he had to give it another try.

He was Matteo Balsano, after all, the king of the rink, the owner of an Olympic medal, no one could ignore him for long.

After taking off the covers of his blades he skated around the rink, warming up a little, trying to act like he is just casually doing his training and not trying to start a conversation with her, waiting for the right moment for them to talk.

She tried to do a triple Lutz.

She fell.

Matteo skated towards her, with concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked when he got next to her.

“Yes, yes... I am”, Luna replied, without even looking at him. “I’m just having a hard time with this jump”, she added, trying to stand up by herself, so he offered her his hand.

She hesitated, but ended up accepting his help.

Matteo might have miss-calculated how much strength to use to help her stand, because next thing he felt was her chest crashing into his torso, and the proximity of their bodies took his breath away.

He looked down at her, and she slowly looked up at his face, so their eyes met, making everything around fade into oblivion.

A quick glance at her lips, and his mind was already making many images of them kissing.

But she was fast at putting some distance between them.

“T-thanks”, she said, avoiding his sight. “I- I have to continue with this jump, Juliana wants me to do it for my short program, and…”

“It’s the counterrotation”, he interrupts her, crossing his arms. “It’s a common problem with the Lutz, you just have to be aware of it and try to correct it for the landing. But, I’m sure you will be able to do it after some practice.”

Her face told him she was taken by surprise.

“What do you know about jumps, Ice Dancer?” she teased, and the grin got wider on his lips.

She had no idea what she got herself into.

“I’m sure I know more than you, Piccola”, he skated around her, like a predator surrounding its prey. “I’m very good at jumps, indeed.” He’s trained many times with Gastón and Ramiro, as both boys seem to appreciate having him around while trying new elements, to get some feedback, and they like to challenge each other during these sessions. Besides, he loves showing off (he won’t even deny that), so making jumps during ice shows gives him the praise he craves.

Luna snorted.

“Whatever you say, Chico Fresa”, she said, and he laughed at the nickname.

They already had a discussion about its meaning when he went to have dinner with Ambar at the Benson’s.

Oh, he was going to prove her wrong.

“If I was you I would take back my words, Luna”, he said, and then started skating around while getting some speed. One, two… he turned around to skate backwards, a cocky smile got in his lips as he prepared himself for the jump, and stayed there until he perfectly landed on the outside edge of his right foot.

Luna was shook, and he loved it.

“You were saying…?” Matteo asked, as he skated towards her. She was still speechless. “I mean, I can give you some private lessons, if you want,” he added, and that seemed to bring her back to her senses, because she starting shaking her head.

“I’m fine with my current trainer, thanks”, she said, putting more distance between them. “Besides, I don’t think my cousin would like that idea.”

He didn’t see the reason why she wouldn’t.

“You are her cousin”, he said.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t like me… like, at all”, she explained him. “Look, I have to go. Thanks for your… erm, help. See you around.”

He wanted to stop her, to tell her something else so their chat would last a little bit longer, but nothing came to his mind.

It was late when he arrived home after having a couple of drinks with his friends.

Gastón and Ramiro organized a guys’ night out and called it the “Double break up therapy” as, according to them, he required to do a lot of mourning because not only his three-years-long relationship with Ámbar Smith ended that day, but also the one he had with figure skating.

He had taken the first step required to follow his dreams: he told Juliana and his now ex-skating partner that he would retire from figure skating.

His trainer took it pretty well, much better than he expected, to be honest. She understood his motives, wished him good luck on his career choice, and promised him to send the contacts of some people she knows at the music industry that could help him. On the other hand, his girlfriend… correction, ex-girlfriend, made a tantrum. The biggest he has ever seen her make, and he has seen plenty of them. She started to call him selfish, stupid, and many other insulting words he is not going to repeat in order to keep it PG over here, but they were very enlightening to make him question their entire relationship.

Her last words before storming out Juliana’s office were used to break up with him and, sincerely, he was already expecting that.

He should be feeling bad, like the biggest traitor on earth, because he knows his decision affected other people. But, at that exact moment, he just felt free, like he had taken a lot of weight out of his shoulders, like he was floating through the hallway instead of walking. And it wasn’t because of the level of alcohol in his blood, that he was sure. Well, maybe a little, but he wasn’t drunk-DRUNK, just a little tipsy, as he was functional enough to be able to open the door of his apartment without any complication.

He was thankful his newest neighbors had already freed the aisle from their boxes, though. Avoiding them to get to his door would be an impossible mission for his numb brain.

He let out a soft sight as he walked into the living room, collapsing on his couch, deciding to stay there until he felt like walking again.

And then, all of sudden, his mind decided to think about her.

What would she be doing at that moment? Did Ámbar tell her about his retirement? About their break up? Would she also believe that he’s making a mistake? That he should have stick to figure skating? No, she would be glad for him, she had to be glad for him.

She, unlike Ámbar, would be happy about people following their dream.

Gastón and Ramiro were wrong about something: He didn’t need to mourn his skating career, he could still do it as a hobby, much less his relationship with Ámbar Smith, contrary to everyone’s beliefs, he had never felt happier about something being over. No, what he really needed to mourn was seeing her every day, watching her training sessions from the benches, crashing into her everywhere, and having the excuse of going to talk with Ámbar to see her in her house. Saying it that way, he sounded like some kind of stalker.

Matteo giggled and closed his eyes.

How pathetic.

He was glad his best friend wasn’t there at the moment, because he wouldn’t stop teasing him if he knew about the content of his thoughts, about how crazy he was about the moon.

At the thought of the celestial body she appeared in his mind, right in front of him, wearing a loose yellow dress that looked way too good on her. She was smiling at him, like she would never do in reality, and offered her hand for him to take it.

He did it, interlacing their hands, and pulling her closer by it, getting lost in her eyes.

She was like a princess, the most beautiful he had ever seen.

Inspiration hit him at that moment, and he had to stand up from the couch, looking for a notebook and a pen. The numbness was long forgotten. With everything he needed in his hands he sat back at the couch, his heart racing as he started writing the words that came to his mind, being fueled by her, only by her.

Cómo es que se elige a una princesa,

Día y noche pienso en ella,

En su Mirada,

Que me habla del amor.

Cómo es que descubro la manera,

De encontrarme frente a ella,

Escuchar su corazón.

#Soy Luna #Lutteo #soy luna fanfic #lutteo fanfic #matteo balsano #luna valente #FigureSkatingAU #written by me

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peaches-of-1 · 6 years ago

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Training: Lip in Hip

This is a short fun piece I’ve been thinking about doing for a while. I started writing this when I had been watching lots of dance covers of people doing “Hip and Lip” by Hyuna.

Training Masterlist

You thought about it and asked if they’d be up for a K-pop in Public sort of thing even though you knew it’d be dangerous because fans. Jin echoed your thoughts.

You looked at your computer screen and changed tabs to YouTube which was playing in the background. There were several that came to mind that you sort of knew the moves to already, but you’d be nervous to ask for a few of them. Biting your lip, you replied that you would tell them when they got home.

Then they reminded you that they’d be in a different city overnight because of their packed schedule. Right. You sighed and then they floodded you with messages not to be sad and that they’d be home soon. You smiled.

“I love you guys. I’ll just send you video links then.” You smiled fondly at your phone screen. “Fuck, I gotta go grocery shopping.”

For the first time in what seemed a while, you really loved your life. It was perfect for you. Your wildest dreams had come true and more. Thinking about it, Taehyung was probably busy getting ready for the vacation. The one in the states. According to the planner, it would take 120 days including proper rest and wiggle room if anything went awry.

[Jimin’s 🔴REC]

White noise. Nothing to see yet. Ok, human noise but still no faces.

“-HUT UP!! I’M LIVE!!!”

Noise settles and the cutest mochi shows up on screen.

“So,” Jimin says with a mouthful of teriyaki noodles. “Our friend, (Y/N), wants to do a K-pop in Public challenge. She’s probably not watching, so I can talk about this--”

“Don’t talk about it!” The scolding voice of Jin comes from offscreen. “You know how she likes to lurk. Also, they’ll probably message her telling her about it.”

Jimin sighs, “You’re right. Ok, so I’ll talk about these noodles instead. They’re so good! I wasn’t sure if I was going to like them because the restaurant said they were using a new sauce, but it’s good. I might order some more.”

The camera turns onto Jin with crumbs all over his face, “Wot?”

“How’s the food?” Laughter.

Their phones went off and it was the group chat. You had sent links to the three songs you wanted to do in the order of most to least. They laughed and covered their mouths, nearly choking.

“Do you see this?” Hobi asked. “She wants to do these dances? Oh my god. Can we even--”

He suddenly remembers they are live and starts laughing. Hobi stands and gets close to the camera, “That’s a surprise for you, so I can’t talk about it here. Mwah” And he went into a different room to call (Y/N).

Jimin smiles and pushes back his hair, “You’re gonna like this once we have it figured out. How about we answer some questions?”

He smiles and waits for a good one to come up.

[Later...]

Jimin is in bed . Sideways. It’s no longer live but his video diary of sorts.

“I know I’m not supposed to say this, but I’m so glad (Y/N) is in our lives. She’s such a lovely human being. Always there for us and a great heart.” He sighs. “I love her. Like, not just regular love, but I would marry her if I could. She probably doesn’t want someone like me, not forever. There are things you don’t know about me that she does.”

Like, the fact that he was a Little. The fact that he was a bottom was only speculation in the fandom, and they didn’t know the true extent.

He looks behind him and then back at the camera, “When she went away, I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t know why, but now I do. I love her and she left. I love her so much. I only want what’s best for her. When she came back, it was like a miracle. Sorry if I made any of you jealous by holding her in public and stuff. I just thought that if I let go, then she’d leave again.”

He sneezed.

“Excuse me.”

Hoseok came out of the bathroom in his teal silk pajamas, “Your turn Jiminie. Are you recording again?”

“Yeah, I’m almost done, though.”

“Ok.”

Jimin looks back at the lens. “I’m gonna go get clean. I’ll see you all later!”

You were so happy when the boys came back home. Jin kissed your cheek and said he loved the photos of you with Yeontan. Namjoon made sure you did all the chores on the list he had left. Yoongi pet your head before he plopped on the couch. Taehyung picked up his Tannie and went to the fridge. Hoseok hugged you and said he missed you. Kookie kissed your lips and asked Tae if there was any sparkling water. Jimin was last, and he held your hand and led you to the couch.

They wanted to say something. You knew this because they were out and didn’t go directly to their rooms. Tae said he’d see us later because he only had time for a 30 minute nap before heading back out, and he was gonna take it.

“Well?”

Jungkook spoke up first, “So, we learned the dances we wanted to do. We all want to do the first one. Jin, Hoseok, and I wanna do the second one. The rest wanna do the other.”

You tilted your head, “That’s great news! Just, why do you sound like you’re leaving something out?”

No one answered. Taehyung came out, “They all wanna be the one you ride during ‘Hip & Lip’, and want you to decide since they’re huge babies.” And then he left again to his room.

“Bitch.” Hobi said under his breath and then talked to you, “It’s obviously me, right? I mean, c’mon.”

They started to bicker among themselves. Jin and Namjoon just looked at each other and shook their heads. You pressed your pointer fingers together, “Actually, I wanted it to be Jin if you’re into it?”

He popped up and grabbed both of your hands, “Are you sure? Oh my gosh!”

Yoongi broke his stoicness, “I’m happy for you, I really am, but why him?”

You stood up and rubbed his back and shoulders, “He’s a broad boy, and me likey the support.”

Hoseok spoke up, “But wouldn’t someone with a thinner body work, though? He’s gotta get in and out pretty quickly just so that no one get in anybody’s way.”

Jin pouted, “Hobi, are you trying to mess this up for me by saying you’re the better person because I’m--”

“Sorry, hyung, for interrupting and saying that, but I’m just being honest. I’m not just saying me, I’m just saying for logic’s sake, someone that doesn’t have to make her spread her legs so much to let one of us...get...between them. I’m talking about dance, ok!”

“You sure are, Hobi.” Yoongi laughed and flashed a smile.

Namjoon spoke up, “He’s right, y’know. Everything should go as smoothly as possible. Also, are we gonna get other girls to join us or--”

“NO.” All the other guys said in unison, with so much power that it made Joonie take a step back.

“Well, no it is then, ddaeng!”

Jin went over to comfort him, and then all eyes turned back to you, waiting for you to choose one of them. Jeez. You really didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or think it was a favoritism thing. Looking around you decided yes or no for the remaining options.

“Well, Jimin was usually getting ridden by me, and I don’t want you getting turned on in public. Hobi and Yoongi, you two might try something, so no way.” You looked between Namjoon and Jungkook. “Rock, paper, scissors. Best 2 out of three.”

They quickly turned to each other and did the game. Namjoon won twice, and so he was the one getting ridden when they did the dance. Everyone watched the dance practice video on TV tracking and picking their parts. Some of the moves they had done variations of, so they knew it’d be pretty easy to learn.

Their schedules were pretty light, so for the next two weeks, the seven of you focused on learning the dance. It was Taehyung that came up with showing up at random spots where busking was popular and do it there. Daytime so that it’d be easier to escape afterwards. You pouted since you wanted to do at least one at night.

You guys would do it twice a day at random spots, busking or not. That’s what was decided in the end in order to protect the boys...and you. The way the manager said it made it seem like you weren’t as important, which you knew you weren’t in the grand scheme of things. Not in the same way.

They all gathered around you and said that they loved you, giving that manager a glare. You giggled, actually believing that they did. If not, you wouldn’t have been here now. And so you guys filmed yourselves performing it for an impromptu Bangtan Bomb that went up at midnight.

At the end, a black screen comes up with a list of times. It was when you were going to perform to get some hype. #BangtanList was trending within an hour, and you went to bed cuddling a frustrated Jimin. He had made a pretty big mess up during an interview today and had been beating himself up for it. All the other guys noticed, but he didn’t really say anything except screaming your name as soon as he got home.

He just wanted to be held, and your arms were always opened.

Times Square Mall, 10am. You guys had to do the first one pretty early and before lunch so that you could eat straight after making your getaway. The boys were in face masks. The mall would play the song over the speakers. You got ready and performed with the boys, smiles in your eyes. Sexy face on.

Bodyguards made sure everyone was far enough back for you guys to move as the crowd started recording and smiling. Some even cried upon seeing most of Bangtan in person. When it was over, a hole was made in the crowd and you all ran to the van that was waiting for you all outside. #LiptanSonyeonHip started going around along with #BangtanList now.

Fantaken recordings and pictures started to circulate. There was a day that Taehyung could join you guys, and he was so glad. Namjoon let him be the one between your legs for those performances. It went well. Not too many mobs were caused even when you did show up to busking events.

Sometimes you’d bump into one of the guys on accident, or they’d run into you and you would just smile and laugh it off. There was even one day when you traded spots with Namjoon. Well, actually, Namjoon was too shy to do that part, and so Jimin did it instead.

The last time was midnight. It was as if everyone in Korea had decided to be out and about in Seoul this time of night. It’s basically what had happened. Everyone wanted to see the boys perform with you and weren’t sure where you’d pop up. This time, it was a fan inclusive performance. Four girls had been chosen beforehand to be a part of this final showing, but they had to promise not to tell anyone where the boys were gonna be.

They didn’t, thank goodness. They’d have enough traffic and stuff with people trying to catch the 3 minute performance after their friends called and contacted them and with the quickness of social media updates.

So, when the performance happened, it was insanely fun. The girls didn’t fangirl too much and were able to do the dance without being too extra. They were also really good at what they did. Maybe they could join the boys and you on tour one day in the near future.

It was just insanely fun, and you guys were allowed to chill a bit after the performance. Which meant, you went home after getting enough takeout for a wedding reception and then have an amazing moonlit meal on the balcony and hang out in the jacuzzi. While you all ate, you looked at the photos and videos the fans had taken, retweeting and liking the ones that were your favorites.

You had all worn some type of light up piece of clothing. The boys had light up necklaces and glasses, with Taehyung and Hoseok also having light up shoes that they performed in. You had gotten to wear a light up fur jacket that you absolutely loved to pieces. Then you guys decided to go live as you all chilled for a moment.

“So, how’d you guys like our performances? It was cool, right?” Jungkook kicked his feet out.

Hoseok grinned and spoke with a full mouth, “It was (Y/N)’s idea. She wanted to do something big and fun with us since we’ve all been so busy lately.”

“But we’re going on a break soon before our next comeback.” Namjoon said. “An official announcment will be coming out soon. I can’t wait to see all of international fans.” He winked into the camera.

Jin added, “You guys are so bad at keeping secrets, I swear to God!”

Everyone laughed. Taehyung came into the room and told the guys to be quiet because you and Jimin had fallen asleep. The guys decided to come see how cute it was because it was two of the cutest members of their life fast asleep and cuddling on a couch. Both were in large sweaters and it was unclear if they were wearing shorts underneath. Jimin’s head rested on your chest while one of your hands were on his shoulder blades. It had fallen from smoothing his hair until he went to sleep.

“Awww. Cuteeee” Hoseok whispered.

The six boys returned to the other room to finish their live, answering questions until every other word became a yawn.

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cy4658-writes · 7 years ago

Text

16. Over the moon by midnight Pt 1

References:

You: Bold

Dan: Italic

°Dan’s POV°

'We meet at last, Prick’ she said with a giant smile on her lips as she proceeded to hug me.

'Do something, Daniel! Hug her back!’ I thought to myself as I wrapped my right arm around her waist and lifted the pizza box right above her head.

She looked really pretty and red was definitely her color. Her accent was cute also.

She smelled like flowers and her apartment like chocolate.

She had those kinds of eyes that irradiate comfort, I was no longer nervous.

- Your apartment smells really nice, chocolatey

- Hahaha! Really? Is that the first thing you tell a woman?

I didn’t know what to say, I just stood there with my eyes wide open. I was trying to say something when she interrupted me

- I’m kidding! You can close your mouth now, but thanks, I made brownies to have as dessert. What would you like to drink?

- What do you have?

- Beer, Coke, wine and something called Ribena? I don't know what it is but I saw everyone at work drinking it so…

- You still haven't tried Ribena? I'm offended. Get that!

- All right, all right! Hold your horses! Jesus Christ! I only been here a few days, I’m not yet a full on Brit yet.

She said as she disappeared into the kitchen

- Where are we eating? Counter, coffee table?

- Coffee table! The couch has a lovely view. She shouted.

As I was waiting for her to come back with the drinks, I put the pizza down where she told me and saw her laptop over an auxiliary table next to the couch.

Her Spotify account was up and a song paused. She was listening to ‘If I could only see by Tonic’

‘She does have an impeccable music taste’ I thought.

As I was caught in my train of thoughts, she came in from behind me and startled me

- Already snooping through my laptop? she joked

- Nah, I was just curious to see what you were listening to.

- You can press play if you want to, that way if there are any awkward silences, the music will fill them up. But you might want to turn down the volume first. I have a neighbor that gets utterly annoyed if I play it too loud she said as she stuck her tongue out.

- HA HA HA. You are not as funny as you think you are! I mirrored her previous grimace

- Here is your Ribena, I decided it was a beer day for me, but just in case I need some alcohol to put up with your unbearable existence.

- Thank god I live next door and I can leave whenever you start getting tipsy.

- Low blow, mate! Shall we? she said pointing at the pizza

- Yes! I’m starving!

As we were eating and talking about our lives, I noticed that she kept on staring at me. That always made me uncomfortable but I wanted to know why she did that.

- You are staring at me again. Do I have something on my face?

- Damn, sorry! I thought I was being smooth. I don’t know but ever since you got in here I feel I’ve seen you before.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’ I thought. She recognized me; I couldn’t believe it and I didn’t even bring up my YouTube yet. ‘How the hell did it happen?’ I decided to play it dumb and see where this was heading.

- Really? You know a lot of tall ass guys with hobbit hair?

- I can’t say I do, you remind me of a guy on a video a friend of mine showed me a long time ago.

I was made, but I kept my cool

- Really? Who?

- I don’t even remember his name, but I do remember he was dressed as a dinosaur and trying to eat cereal someone was throwing at him. It was actually quite hilarious.

I couldn’t believe my damned luck. Not only she has seen me before but she’s seen me doing one of the most stupid videos I’ve made in my life. All I wanted was for the earth to rip open and swallowed me. I don’t think I ever craved death as much as I did in that precise moment.

I don’t remember how long I remained zoned out, but all of a sudden she was waving her hands in front of my face.

- Dude! You here among the living?

I didn’t reply, I just covered my lit red face with my hands when all of a sudden it happened

- OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I softly screamed. And I mean softly only because my hands were still on my face and muffled the sound of my very pitch high voice.

- What?! What is going on? She said while grabbing my hands and putting them away from my face.

She had to have figured out so, I might as well come clean right then and there.

- It’s called Dan the Danasaur and it is, in fact, me on that video. I made that video back in 2013.

I told her while staring at my feet, I couldn’t make myself look her in the eye until I hear she was laughing and her laughter started to sound like she was choking.

- Here! Take a sip of this. Are you ok?

It took her a few seconds to compose herself. There were a minute or two of deafening silence until she spoke again.

- Ok, I was not expecting that like AT ALL. Is that what you do for a living? Videos on the internet? She asked with, what felt, underwhelm in her voice.

- Well, yes. I am a youtuber among other things.

I made eye contact again with her and I saw that she was a little blushed and with a smile on her face. I did not know what the hell was going on.

- What? You keep staring at me again

- That video, the one you did? Was the only thing that made me smile during a very rough time in my life. My friend found it on the internet and sent me the link via email. It was one of the few things that, back then, made me feel a hint of happiness. Unbelievable how the universe works, right? So, now that I have you here, let me thank you. Your moronic ass helped me get through some deep shit.

I was dumbstruck. What I was supposed to tell her? I mean, I could see a hint of sadness behind her eyes. Should I hug her? Make a joke? I needed to act and I needed to do that quickly

- I am glad that my personal and public humiliation did you any good.

She started laughing.

- Public humiliation is not only my forte but also a great source of laughter. You are kinda cool, Prick. Maybe I should dig a little into that YouTube channel of yours.

- Well, this was nice. I think I should go now and choke myself to death. I said as I stood up. I was literally going to run to my house and die.

- Don’t be an idiot! I would never do that if it made you uncomfortable. I told you! You sort of a cool dude, I much rather get to know you like this than from what you put out there.

I sigh in relief.

As we resumed our chitchat, a song started playing that made Y/N sit up straight; she took her hands to her chest and closed her eyes. I could see that the song meant something deep to her.

- Have you ever heard a song and thought ‘This is exactly me. This song sums up everything I want in life’? Never have I ever found one like that till I heard this.

It was Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. I’ve heard it before but never really paid attention to the lyrics until Y/N said that. For some reason, I felt compelled to give it my undivided attention.

- I never thought of that, but it is a beautiful song I resumed as the song finished.

She gave her bottle the last sip and stood up

- I think I need a refill. You want something else or you are good?

- I’ll take a beer, thanks

- Coming right up!

As she disappeared into the kitchen, I took my phone out of my pocket; I had a text from Phil

Everything going ok?

Yeah, everything is going fine.

she’s seen one of my videos, at least

tell you later.

It took her a moment to come back with our drinks, I found myself looking at her straight in the eyes, I felt myself smile.

Our night had just begun but I didn’t know that yet.

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